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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries , the government promote public transportation and discourage the private vehicles what are the advantage and disadvantages?

#countries #government #transportation #vehicles #advantage
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It is considered by several countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
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their governments encourage people to use public
transportation
 methods like trams and subways rather than their own cars . Using transported public ways reflects benefits to the environment and social perspectives, but there are some drawbacks. One evident benefit to using transported public methods is that it will assist in decreasing the environmental problems like air pollution .
In other words
, the gas emissions from private cars affect the environment harmfully in comparison to other
transportation
 ways. Another reason is that the high usage by humans in public
transportation
,
such
 as trams and underground railway systems will impact positively
in
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the rate of accidents which the rate will be lower substantially.
In addition
, it will lower the congestion and the traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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 in the streets gradually .
On the other hand
,there are obvious disadvantages to using public
transportation
.
Firstly
,
the
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public
transportation
 serves tickets with high unaffordable prices.
This
 will discourage people
to use
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from using
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 them.
Secondly
, it serves short and small routes which can make travellers dissatisfied
that
Correct word choice
and
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 will lead them to use their private vehicles
instead
.
For instance
 , there are some subways
do
Correct pronoun usage
that do
show examples
 not offer specific destinations which are near to prominent figures like universities and governmental institutes. In conclusion,
while
 there are plus points to using public
transportation
 methods, there are disadvantages as well. Governments and local organizations should lower the prices and extend the routes including remarkable places in their towns which will increase people's satisfaction in using them over their own vehicles.
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Coherence & Cohesion
While the essay structure follows a logical sequence with clear introduction and conclusion, consider enhancing cohesion with better transition phrases to guide the reader smoothly between points. Moreover, you can further support main points with more varied sentence structures to ensure good flow and clarity.
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task, providing both advantages and disadvantages of the government promoting public transport and offers a conclusion. However, to achieve a higher score, ensure that all ideas are fully developed and extended. Providing more specific, detailed examples will also strengthen the task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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