The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The process of producing
sugar
from its origin,
sugar
cane, is illustrated below.
Overall
,
it is clear that
manufacturing
sugar
consists of 7 steps in which
sugar
cane is harvested after growing for around a year, and
then
, by turning
into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
show examples
juice
and cooling down,
finally
sugar
is created.
To begin
with,
sugar
canes grow taking up to a year and a half. In the second stage,
sugar
canes are harvested either by farmers or giant machines.
Thereafter
, they are put in a whirling
apparentus
Correct your spelling
apparatus
apparent
which crushes down
sugar
canes and liquifies it, generating
juice
from it. The fourth step includes purifying the
juice
by using a specific device called
Limestone
Correct article usage
a Limestone
show examples
filter.
Next,
the
juice
is heated in an evaporator in order to turn into syrup, so that when the syrup is centrifuged
subsequently
sugar
crystals will be separated and
distict
Correct your spelling
disticted
.
Finally
, in the
last
section, the mixture is dried and cooled, thereby forming
sugar
, as it is.
Submitted by shery.1375.sh on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • mature
  • harvest
  • extract
  • purification
  • impurities
  • evaporation
  • thick syrup
  • crystallization
  • centrifugation
  • molasses
  • raw sugar crystals
  • refinement
  • purify
  • whiten
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