IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that the government should be responsible for transporting students to school, while others believe that parents should bring their children to school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Transportation
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 of
children
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 to and from
school
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 has always been a concern for
parents
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 since the early era when
children
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 could walk or ride their bicycles to
school
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nearby
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
 their residence, which still occurs
in particular
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 remote and rural areas. The controversy continues over who ought to be responsible- the
government
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 or the
parents
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 themselves-. Some believe the
government
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 is not accountable for
this
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 responsibility since authorities have more important duties to take care of i.e., public health, economic issues, and so on;
therefore
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,
transportation
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 of each child, just like other parenthood chores should be on their shoulders.
As well as
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this
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, accidents and upcoming unexpected and disastrous events are assumably lower in rates when looked after by their caring
parents
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 compared to strangers, especially in recent years during which corruption, child abuse, and robbery have reached their limits.
Children
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 are more comfortable commuting privately with their
parents
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 and it appears to be a safer alternative for strict disciplined
parents
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 who are worried about their
children
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’s non-academic interactions outside the
school
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 area, enabling them to monitor their loved ones attentively.
On the other hand
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, others believe that just like other community services, the
government
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 imposes tax on citizens so in return
Correct your spelling
they
thet
Correct your spelling
they
 should take part in the
transportation
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 of
children
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 as a means of superior education in response to
Furthermore
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, working
parents
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 are often tight with their schedules and they are rarely available to bear
this
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 responsibility.
Thus
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, they need an organization to relieve them from
such
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 pressure.
According to
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 environmentalists, delegating
this
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 responsibility to the
government
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 can be environmentally beneficial in the first place it can help better conserve energy, and reduce fumes from private vehicles.
Secondly
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution;
however
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, the
government
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 should take notice in employing professional drivers to ensure road safety.
To sum up
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, I estimate that even though resources should be allocated to come up with a realistic means of public
transportation
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 for
school
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 pupils, it should be a part of the
government
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’s affairs to tackle and it owes
such
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 public service to the community to encourage higher education.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to show the connection between paragraphs and points.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with detailed explanations and relevant examples. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea, and be fully elaborated upon.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. The question asks for a discussion of both views and your opinion. Ensure that you allocate sufficient space in your essay to discussing both perspectives, as well as clearly stating and supporting your own position.
task achievement
Include relevant specific examples to illustrate the points you make. This will help strengthen your arguments and give your essay more grounding in reality.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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