Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many believe that an
advertisement
is totally needed to persuade
people
to purchase a thing.
While
for some, an
advertisement
is no longer necessary because
people
do not notice it anymore.
Although
I agree that sometimes
people
just skip the appearance of an
advertisement
, I believe that an
advertisement
is still crucial to inform
people
about a particular
product
or
brand
. It is commonly seen that
people
frequently reject or skip an
advertisement
when it appears on our social media.
For instance
, social media users subscribe to a YouTube premium program so that they will not see any kind of
advertisementon
Correct your spelling
advertisement on
advertisement
their YouTube. It
also
happens when
people
are watching the television as they change to the other channel program when the former is playing an
advertisement
. In the end, the
brand
failed to inform the audiences about its
product
whereas
, the
brand
has paid a number of money to advertise it.
However
, in my opinion, it is not totally true because some reject the
advertisement
which they have already known in advance. It means that for a new
advertisement
or new
product
,
people
still have an interest in seeing it.
Furthermore
, promoting a new
product
or
brand
through an
advertisement
is more effective than taking no
advertisement
to promote it.
For example
, a
brand
-new company will use any kind of
advertisement
to introduce its
brand
in the market. The company knows well that if it does not promote and influence its existence, how does the market know about its
brand
? I think
this
is completely true because the difficulty of a
brand
-new company is to gain the public's attention so that it can embark on the market smoothly. In conclusion,
although
sometimes there is
a
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rejection toward an
advertisement
from
the
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people
, I argue that using an
advertisement
to promote a
brand
or
product
will be absolutely useful
to gain
Change preposition
in gaining
show examples
customers.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, but some ideas could be expanded more fully to show the complexity of the argument. Providing additional specific examples and arguments would strengthen your task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas more effectively by enhancing the logical flow and using a wider range of cohesive devices. While the introduction and conclusion are present, the essay would benefit from a stronger thematic linkage between them.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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