12/1 Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents

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The arrangement of the

children

Use synonyms

's afterschool has become an issue in early education. Some claim that it should be decided by parents,

in contrast

Linking Words

, others believe kids have the right to choose what to do

Change preposition

during

show examples

their break. The following content will discuss both stances

whether

Change preposition

on whether

show examples

the break

time

Use synonyms

should be organised by adults.

Firstly

Linking Words

, effectively

schedule

Wrong verb form

scheduling

show examples

the free

time

Use synonyms

for

further

Linking Words

training and learning could be more beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

's future. In

this

Linking Words

competitive world, if students could follow the schedules which are arranged by the adults, they would have intact and functional plans to prepare for their future.

For example

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

some kids

wasting

Wrong verb form

waste

show examples

their

time

Use synonyms

in playgrounds, the kids who follow the schedule might already finish the practice of Mathematics, Science and professional skills training,

such

Linking Words

as playing

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

or sports training. With

these effective

Change the determiner

this effective time management

show examples

time

Use synonyms

management,

children

Use synonyms

future

Fix the agreement mistake

futures

show examples

are well-prepared.

However

Linking Words

, childhood is the only period

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

humans have the most freedom in their whole lives,

Change preposition

with no

show examples

need to worry about daily chores, working performance and

mothly

Correct your spelling

monthly

payment

Fix the agreement mistake

payments

show examples

Children

Use synonyms

can make their own decisions which would not be affected by their surroundings.

For instance

Linking Words

, a kid plays soccer with his friends

afterschool

Correct your spelling

after school

show examples

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and at

show examples

the end of the game, they obtain excitement,

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

show examples

of achievement and friendship.

This

Linking Words

option might be aimless for some people, but it could become the best part of memory in

children

Use synonyms

's lives. In conclusion, a

well organised

Add a hyphen

well-organised

show examples

schedule might be beneficial to

children

Use synonyms

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

nevertheless

Linking Words

, I firmly believe

let

Wrong verb form

letting

show examples

children

Use synonyms

make their own decisions and enjoy their free

time

Use synonyms

could be more important for their growth.

Submitted by chaoweikevin on Sat Jan 13 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure, with each paragraph discussing a coherent idea and ensure a progressive flow of thoughts.

Coherence & Cohesion

Maintain a strong and clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, reiterating the main stance in the conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support main points with clear, specific, and relevant examples or explanations to add weight to your argument.

Task Achievement

Address the task prompt fully, with a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument followed by a reasoned personal stance.

Task Achievement

Use a wide range of vocabulary and structures to convey clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay, ensuring precision and subtlety in meaning.

Task Achievement

Provide specific, precise examples to support arguments, adding authenticity and insight into your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

balanced development
expose children to
tailored activities
promote discipline
foster independence
genuine interests
free play
problem-solving skills
emotional well-being
unstructured time
personal exploration
structured activities

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12/1 Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, private cars are now banned from certain city centres. What are the advantages of such a system and do you feel that this is something that most cities should adopt?

Today many people spend less and less time in their homes. What are the reasons and what are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

Many elderly people are no longer after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?