12/1 Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The arrangement of the
children
's afterschool has become an issue in early education. Some claim that it should be decided by parents, in contrast
, others believe kids have the right to choose what to do in
their break. The following content will discuss both stances Change preposition
during
whether
the break Change preposition
on whether
time
should be organised by adults.
Firstly
, effectively schedule
the free Wrong verb form
scheduling
time
for further
training and learning could be more beneficial for children
's future. In this
competitive world, if students could follow the schedules which are arranged by the adults, they would have intact and functional plans to prepare for their future. For example
, while
some kids wasting
their Wrong verb form
waste
time
in playgrounds, the kids who follow the schedule might already finish the practice of Mathematics, Science and professional skills training, such
as playing instrument
or sports training. With Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
these effective
Change the determiner
this effective time management
time
management, children
's future
are well-prepared.
Fix the agreement mistake
futures
However
, childhood is the only period which
humans have the most freedom in their whole lives, Change preposition
in which
no
need to worry about daily chores, working performance and Change preposition
with no
mothly
Correct your spelling
monthly
payment
. Fix the agreement mistake
payments
Children
can make their own decisions which would not be affected by their surroundings. For instance
, a kid plays soccer with his friends afterschool
, Correct your spelling
after school
at
the end of the game, they obtain excitement, Correct word choice
and at
sense
of achievement and friendship. Correct article usage
a sense
This
option might be aimless for some people, but it could become the best part of memory in children
's lives.
In conclusion, a well organised
schedule might be beneficial to Add a hyphen
well-organised
children
's career
, Fix the agreement mistake
careers
nevertheless
, I firmly believe let
Wrong verb form
letting
children
make their own decisions and enjoy their free time
could be more important for their growth.Submitted by chaoweikevin on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure, with each paragraph discussing a coherent idea and ensure a progressive flow of thoughts.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a strong and clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, reiterating the main stance in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support main points with clear, specific, and relevant examples or explanations to add weight to your argument.
Task Achievement
Address the task prompt fully, with a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument followed by a reasoned personal stance.
Task Achievement
Use a wide range of vocabulary and structures to convey clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay, ensuring precision and subtlety in meaning.
Task Achievement
Provide specific, precise examples to support arguments, adding authenticity and insight into your discussion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?