12/1 Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The arrangement of the
children
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's afterschool has become an issue in early education. Some claim that it should be decided by parents,
in contrast
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, others believe kids have the right to choose what to do
in
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during
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their break. The following content will discuss both stances
whether
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on whether
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the break
time
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should be organised by adults.
Firstly
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, effectively
schedule
Wrong verb form
scheduling
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the free
time
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for
further
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training and learning could be more beneficial for
children
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's future. In
this
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competitive world, if students could follow the schedules which are arranged by the adults, they would have intact and functional plans to prepare for their future.
For example
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,
while
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some kids
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
their
time
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in playgrounds, the kids who follow the schedule might already finish the practice of Mathematics, Science and professional skills training,
such
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as playing
instrument
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instruments
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or sports training. With
these effective
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this effective time management
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time
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management,
children
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's
future
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futures
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are well-prepared.
However
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, childhood is the only period
which
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in which
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humans have the most freedom in their whole lives,
no
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with no
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need to worry about daily chores, working performance and
mothly
Correct your spelling
monthly
payment
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payments
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.
Children
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can make their own decisions which would not be affected by their surroundings.
For instance
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, a kid plays soccer with his friends
afterschool
Correct your spelling
after school
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,
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at
Correct word choice
and at
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the end of the game, they obtain excitement,
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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of achievement and friendship.
This
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option might be aimless for some people, but it could become the best part of memory in
children
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's lives. In conclusion, a
well organised
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well-organised
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schedule might be beneficial to
children
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's
career
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careers
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,
nevertheless
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, I firmly believe
let
Wrong verb form
letting
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children
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make their own decisions and enjoy their free
time
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could be more important for their growth.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure, with each paragraph discussing a coherent idea and ensure a progressive flow of thoughts.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a strong and clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, reiterating the main stance in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support main points with clear, specific, and relevant examples or explanations to add weight to your argument.
Task Achievement
Address the task prompt fully, with a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument followed by a reasoned personal stance.
Task Achievement
Use a wide range of vocabulary and structures to convey clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay, ensuring precision and subtlety in meaning.
Task Achievement
Provide specific, precise examples to support arguments, adding authenticity and insight into your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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