12/1 Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The arrangement of the
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's afterschool has become an issue in early education. Some claim that it should be decided by parents,
in contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, others believe kids have the right to choose what to do
in
Change preposition
during

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their break. The following content will discuss both stances
whether
Change preposition
on whether

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the break
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be organised by adults.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, effectively
schedule
Wrong verb form
scheduling

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb schedule. Consider changing it.

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the free
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

training and learning could be more beneficial for
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's future. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

competitive world, if students could follow the schedules which are arranged by the adults, they would have intact and functional plans to prepare for their future.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some kids
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb wasting. Consider changing it.

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their
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in playgrounds, the kids who follow the schedule might already finish the practice of Mathematics, Science and professional skills training,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as playing
instrument
Fix the agreement mistake
instruments

It seems that instrument may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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or sports training. With
these effective
Change the determiner
this effective time management

It appears that the plural demonstrative these is modifying the singular noun management. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

management,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
future
Fix the agreement mistake
futures

It seems that future may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are well-prepared.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, childhood is the only period
which
Change preposition
in which

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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humans have the most freedom in their whole lives,
no
Change preposition
with no

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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need to worry about daily chores, working performance and
mothly
Correct your spelling
monthly

If you don’t want mothly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments

It seems that payment may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can make their own decisions which would not be affected by their surroundings.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a kid plays soccer with his friends
afterschool
Correct your spelling
after school

The word afterschool doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

at
Correct word choice
and at

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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the end of the game, they obtain excitement,
sense
Correct article usage
a sense

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of achievement and friendship.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

option might be aimless for some people, but it could become the best part of memory in
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's lives. In conclusion, a
well organised
Add a hyphen
well-organised

It appears that well organised is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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schedule might be beneficial to
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers

It seems that career may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
,
nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I firmly believe
let
Wrong verb form
letting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb let. Consider changing it.

show examples
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

make their own decisions and enjoy their free
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

could be more important for their growth.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure, with each paragraph discussing a coherent idea and ensure a progressive flow of thoughts.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a strong and clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, reiterating the main stance in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support main points with clear, specific, and relevant examples or explanations to add weight to your argument.
Task Achievement
Address the task prompt fully, with a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument followed by a reasoned personal stance.
Task Achievement
Use a wide range of vocabulary and structures to convey clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay, ensuring precision and subtlety in meaning.
Task Achievement
Provide specific, precise examples to support arguments, adding authenticity and insight into your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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