Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Modern society is witnessing an increasing number of children leading unhealthy lifestyles, and it is imperative to address
this
issue promptly. I strongly agree with the statement that both parents
and schools
bear responsibility for resolving this
problem.
Firstly
, parents
play a pivotal role in shaping a child
's habits and lifestyle
. The home environment significantly influences a child
's choices regarding diet, physical activity, and screen time. Parents
need to instill
healthy habits by providing nutritious meals, encouraging outdoor activities, and setting limits on screen time. A collaborative effort between Change the spelling
instil
parents
and schools
is essential to reinforce consistent messages about the importance of a healthy lifestyle
.
Secondly
, schools
serve as crucial institutions that contribute to a child
's overall
development. Physical education programs and extracurricular activities can promote physical fitness and instill
a love for an active Change the spelling
instil
lifestyle
. Additionally
, schools
can educate students about the significance of a balanced diet and the potential consequences of an unhealthy lifestyle
. By integrating health education into the curriculum, schools
can empower children with the knowledge to make informed choices.
Moreover
, collaboration between parents
and schools
is essential to create a holistic approach to address the multifaceted aspects of a child
's well-being. Joint initiatives, such
as workshops on nutrition and physical activity, can bridge the gap between home and school environments. Parent-teacher partnerships can establish a consistent framework for promoting a healthy lifestyle
, reinforcing positive behaviors
, and addressing challenges.
In conclusion, both Change the spelling
behaviours
parents
and schools
bear a shared responsibility in mitigating the prevalence of unhealthy lifestyles among children. A concerted effort, involving effective communication and collaboration between these two entities, is crucial to instill healthy habits and ensure the well-being of the younger generation.Submitted by salihzekikoni on
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While your essay presents a clear opinion and reasons in support of your view, you should ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported by specific examples or evidence. Try to incorporate specific examples or relevant anecdotes to illustrate your arguments, thereby adding more depth to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion, which clearly states your position. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the coherence of the overall argument can be enhanced by more skillfully connecting related ideas and points. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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