Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #lifestyle #parents #schools

Modern society is witnessing an increasing number of children leading unhealthy lifestyles, and it is imperative to address

this

issue promptly. I strongly agree with the statement that both

parents

and

schools

bear responsibility for resolving

this

problem.

Firstly

parents

play a pivotal role in shaping a

child

's habits and

lifestyle

. The home environment significantly influences a

child

's choices regarding diet, physical activity, and screen time.

Parents

need to

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

healthy habits by providing nutritious meals, encouraging outdoor activities, and setting limits on screen time. A collaborative effort between

parents

and

schools

is essential to reinforce consistent messages about the importance of a healthy

lifestyle

Secondly

schools

serve as crucial institutions that contribute to a

child

overall

development. Physical education programs and extracurricular activities can promote physical fitness and

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

a love for an active

lifestyle

Additionally

schools

can educate students about the significance of a balanced diet and the potential consequences of an unhealthy

lifestyle

. By integrating health education into the curriculum,

schools

can empower children with the knowledge to make informed choices.

Moreover

, collaboration between

parents

and

schools

is essential to create a holistic approach to address the multifaceted aspects of a

child

's well-being. Joint initiatives,

such

as workshops on nutrition and physical activity, can bridge the gap between home and school environments. Parent-teacher partnerships can establish a consistent framework for promoting a healthy

lifestyle

, reinforcing positive

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

, and addressing challenges. In conclusion, both

parents

and

schools

bear a shared responsibility in mitigating the prevalence of unhealthy lifestyles among children. A concerted effort, involving effective communication and collaboration between these two entities, is crucial to instill healthy habits and ensure the well-being of the younger generation.

Submitted by salihzekikoni on Sat Jan 13 2024

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While your essay presents a clear opinion and reasons in support of your view, you should ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported by specific examples or evidence. Try to incorporate specific examples or relevant anecdotes to illustrate your arguments, thereby adding more depth to your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a good logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion, which clearly states your position. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the coherence of the overall argument can be enhanced by more skillfully connecting related ideas and points. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local area whenever possible rather than foods that are imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. WHy is this?Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Some people believe that sports are an essential part of school life for children while you should give reasons for your answers and include. ideas and examples

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?