IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some think that parents reading books for entertainment to their children is a waste of time and they should only read them serious educational books. Do you agree or disagree?

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Books
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 are our best friend, who never leaves us. It is believed by few individuals that for
children
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parents
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 must read important
study
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 related
books
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 only, as others which give them fun are totally useless. I completely disagree with
this
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 notion to a significant extent, and in the following essay, I will shed light on my viewpoint.
Firstly
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, There are good and positive points about reading
books
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 for entertainment.
To begin
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 with, It gives broad knowledge, which may not be covered in educational
books
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. To explain it
further
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, academic
books
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 mostly cover subjective knowledge which helps to pass the exam only.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 time to time boost their intelligence and can find school
books
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 only.
For instance
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, a famous Educational board in England recently upgraded their curriculum by including
books
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 on a fictional basis, which helps students learn
while
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 having fun.
Thus
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,
parents
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 must look for benefits from it.
Secondly
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, there are some drawbacks to reading educational
books
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 constantly. To start with, students spend six hours in school and after the educational ,hours kids need relaxation. To elaborate ,
Add an article
the
a
show examples
continuous
study
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 can make
children
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 tired and may cause them to lose interest
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
study
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.
In addition
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, educational
books
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 are more expensive than normal leisure
books
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, which ultimately create an extra burden on
parents
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.
Moreover
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,
books
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 other than subjective give more information and skills, which helps
children
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 to grow more socially.
For example
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, as per the Ministry of Education's publication report those kids who spend their free time on non-academic reading, have additional expertise. In conclusion, I believe that
parents
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 already realize the importance of reading
books
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 of entertainment not only helps
children
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 to feel happy
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 motivates them towards
study
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.

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task response
Ensure that your examples clearly support the points you are making. For instance, in your essay, the examples provided could be more directly linked to your arguments about the value of entertainment books in developing social skills and providing relaxation.
coherence
Focus on maintaining a clear connection between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of your essay. While your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, the transitions between body paragraphs could benefit from clearer linking phrases.
coherence
Try to elaborate more on each point. Each paragraph should fully develop a single idea related to the central argument, potentially by adding more detailed examples or by expanding on the analysis of those examples.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear overview and a concise summary of your viewpoints.
task response
You have presented a balanced view, acknowledging the necessity of both educational and entertainment books, which shows a comprehensive response to the task.
task response
Your use of examples, such as the mention of the Educational board in England, adds specificity and supports your points about curriculum and knowledge.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhance creativity
  • foster a love for reading
  • gateway to more serious reading
  • parent-child bond
  • emotional and psychological development
  • moral lessons and values
  • diverse cultures
  • engaging and enjoyable
  • problem-solving
  • innovative thinking
  • disengagement
  • overall learning experience
  • serious educational content
  • storytelling and literature
  • reading with children
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