Vaccination of children against preventable disease is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is clear that
there are various types of vaccines for kids. While
some people argue that it is dangerous and are worried about the side effects, I totally disagree with this
view and I believe that vaccines are essential for kids’ safety.
On the one hand, several parents refuse to vaccinate their children because of the negative side effects likewise
fever, and itches. Rephrase
such as
Although
only a small percentage of this
case, there is a huge risk for kids who intolerant
to the substances. Add a missing verb
are intolerant
For example
, not every juveniles
can Change to a singular noun
juvenile
receipt
covid-19 shot as it is too strong, and if they are feeling unwell and Replace the word
receive
got
injected, it will lead to more harmful sickness. Wrong verb form
get
However
, several of them who undergo this
booster injection might show various reactions that causes
Change the verb form
cause
fears
to raisers.
Fix the agreement mistake
fear
On the other hand
, despite the uncommon perils that
shown in public, avoiding booster shots can potentially lead to a severe problem Correct pronoun usage
apply
as well as
diverting the virus to other kids who have not been vaccinated yet. For instance
, in the USA, there are a bunch of cases of newborns who almost did not survive dangerous viruses, and most of them got those from their siblings, unconsciously. This
is because boosters play the main role in creating antibody
which infants do not haveFix the agreement mistake
antibodies
it
. If they Correct pronoun usage
apply
do
not injected, their bodies will easily infected by hazardous microorganisms. Verb problem
are
Therefore
, nurturers can not neglect this
phenomenon.
In conclusion, due to
the importance of offspring’s antibody and the potential risks, I believe that under no circumstances children should be vaccinated, even though there are several negative sideSubmitted by sidneynatasha16 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your introduction suggests a clear position, but the conclusion is incomplete. It is essential to have a fully developed conclusion that reiterates your main argument and provides a sense of closure.
task response
You should develop clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay. Many points are introduced but not fully expanded upon, which leaves your argument underdeveloped.
task response
Providing specific examples strengthens your argument. You have named certain situations regarding vaccination side effects and risk prevention, but more detailed instances or data would enhance effectiveness.
coherence and cohesion
The overall logical structure of your essay is adequate, but transitions between points can be smoother. Use conjunctions and cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all main points raised in the essay are consistently developed and supported by arguments or examples. Each paragraph should clearly relate to the central topic.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!