Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?

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Nowadays, many
parents
tend not to send their
kids
to school and
instead
, they teach them at home. There may be some benefits and some weak points for
this
decision. In spite of being aware of the advantages of
this
action, I personally consider it quite negative. An extensive number of
kids
are taught at home by their own
parents
due to
diverse factors.
Firstly
, schools are alleged to not be a safe environment for some
children
due to
several reasons
such
as bullying. Just consider thousands of pupils, who have been bullied at school by other
kids
. To tackle
this
obstacle,
parents
prefer to homeschool their offspring
such
that, they could prevent
further
repercussions.
Secondly
, schools may lack educational
quality
, making
parents
unsatisfied.
For instance
, some classes contain more than twenty students and tutors are not able to focus on every child. What
this
often leads to is dicreasement of educational
quality
. Regarding these issues,
parents
homeschool their
children
not only to enhance teaching
quality
but
also
to allocate more attention to their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
.
On the other hand
, homeschooling might have many problems. The major problem may be reducing
kids
' social skills.
For instance
, Homeschooling can make
children
isolated.
This
often exacerbates social anxiety and in the future, these
kids
are not able to make strong communication with others.
As well as
that,
parents
may not be able to teach their
children
very well. Even though many
parents
try their best to provide every essential skill for teaching, Tutors have earned more experience in
this
field and are experts in comparison with
parents
. In conclusion, many
parents
may consider homeschooling the best option for their
children
’s education,
however
, owing to the side effects of
this
action
such
as isolating
kids
and the lack of teaching
quality
at home, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. So I strongly think every child must be sent to school.
Submitted by Arman on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The logical flow could be improved by providing clearer transitions between points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion presented show an understanding of the task, however, work on paraphrasing the prompt more efficiently to avoid repetition.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported but would benefit from more detailed examples and evidence to further strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have responded to the task, presenting both sides of the argument, but for a higher score, you should ensure that your personal opinion is consistent and clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and you have communicated them in a comprehensive way. Still, to achieve a higher score, each paragraph should have one clear main idea with thorough development.
task achievement
You have provided some examples to support your ideas; however, for a higher band score, use more specific and varied examples to demonstrate the points being made.
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