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Band 6

Some people say it is important to keep your home and work tidy with everything organized and in the correct places, what is your opinion about it?

#people #home #work #places
It is generally accepted that it is significant to keep the residents and work tidy in the right places in the modern period,
while
 some people think that it is not necessary. I wholeheartedly agree with why the house and work should be cleaned.
This
 essay will demonstrate the benefits of it throughout the following paragraphs. The first initial reason for having a clean space is to provide a better quality of health. Staying in a well-organized room, with all the things placed in their own space will decrease the level of dust.
Furthermore
, the residents will be surrounded by a fresh and clean atmosphere,
this
 situation will lead people to have good health.
Besides
 staying healthy, it can
also
 improve people's personal look to be more reliable in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many positions. The personal look is one of the important things that everyone should be concerned
.
Change preposition
about.
show examples
In addition
,
neibourgh
Correct your spelling
Newburgh
 can judge the owner of the home by its look,
this
 can reflect the person's lifestyle and attitude.
For instance
, visiting the boss's room, in a really beautiful place with well-organized decorations, can make the visitor feel more respected because they think that the boss is so professional, and he will be an expert in the work position too. In conclusion, all the reasons above with the variety of benefits why the household should be tidy. As a suggestion, both teens and workers should be more concerned about how to arrange their residential areas and make them
feellike
Correct your spelling
feel like
 a wonderful place to live.
Submitted by sasinipapj on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and sentences, which will improve coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
To further elevate your task achievement score, aim to provide more detailed and varied examples that directly support your main points. This will enrich your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
General
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos, as refining these can contribute to a clearer and more professional presentation of your ideas.
Introduction and Conclusion
You've introduced and concluded your essay effectively, providing a clear viewpoint and summarizing your arguments well.
Logical Structure
You have a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point, which aids in the reader's understanding.
Comprehension and Development of Ideas
Your essay presents clear, comprehensive ideas, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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