Many people believe that social networking sites (Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree?

The number of users of social networking
sites
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased rapidly in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years. Many
people
contend that social
media
sites
bring positive outcomes for societies,
while
others think that the drawbacks are bigger than their benefit outcomes.
While
there are some negative effects, especially
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both individually and socially, I believe that the positive impacts are more useful for our lives. Many
people
believe that there are many downsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
using social
media
, notably that
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
our mental health. In social
media
, anonymous identities have become common, leading to the act of attacking strangers without fear
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
arrested which has been done massively nowadays. Some
people
who bully others
also
build their social
media’s
Change noun form
media
show examples
persona based on fake persons or
identity
Fix the agreement mistake
identities
show examples
, causing
people
who
being
Add a missing verb
are being
show examples
attacked
become
Add the particle
to become
show examples
prone to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental health problems. Research has
also
shown that
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
constant perfect images that flow in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
impacted many
people
, especially
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
,
develop
Correct pronoun usage
who develop
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
of anxiety and depression.
On the other hand
,
due to
the existence of social
media
,
people
have become closer
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
each other from
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
different social
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
. Collaborations between
people
can be done without
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
worried about physical and geographical locations, opening
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
cultural exchanges and global trading. Some research has shown that cultural heritages are more effective to be marketed through social networking
sites
rather than
formally
Change the word
formal
show examples
diplomacy events.
Thus
,
this
has indicated that social
media
offer benefits not only for personal matters
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
for
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
interests.
To conclude
,
while
social networking
sites
have had many negative sides, I believe that these
sites
will generate more benefits if
people
are using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
well.
However
, there are some measures to handle the problems coming from them, including
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
restricting the users who have anonymous persona to online.
Submitted by sfiraabila on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, the body should contain well-structured paragraphs supporting your thesis, and the conclusion should summarize your points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs, but ensure they are used appropriately and do not obstruct understanding. Paragraphs should be well-organized and focused on a single idea, with subsequent paragraphs logically following each other.
coherence cohesion
Provide clear main points in each paragraph and support them with relevant, specific examples or explanations. Avoid overgeneralizations and ensure that your arguments are cohesive and each paragraph flows into the next.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address the question throughout your essay, and provide a balanced view if the prompt requires it. Clearly state your opinion and ensure that the conclusion reflects the arguments presented in the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay comprehensively covers the prompt, with clear and elaborate ideas that fully express each point. Avoid vague statements in favor of detailed arguments that directly relate to the prompt.
task achievement
Use a mix of general statements and specific, relevant examples to support your argument. The examples should illustrate and reinforce your main points, and should be drawn from credible sources or realistic scenarios.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: