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Band 3

These days the fashion in clothing are constantly changing. Is this affecting individuals and the environment in a posiyive or a negative way ?

#fashion #individuals #environment #posiyive
Nowadays we are witnessing non-stop changes in
clothes
 fashion ;
however
 , its effects involve people and the environment in a negative condition which will be mentioned in
this
 essay. From the standpoint of society , new fashion changes in
clothes
 that
occurs
Change the verb form
occur
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 constantly have many effects on
ecconomic
Correct your spelling
economic
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people's life; in fact , the prices that should be paid for
this
 change are not less , because of the high expenses of
production
Add an article
the production
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 process ; to illustrate , consider a family that consists of two or three young children who are struggling with new coming fashion garments ;
hence
, whole of the family would face the financial problems which happened because of
this
 issue.
On the other hand
, there are many natural resources which have been used to make a variety of new
clothes
 ; as a matter of fact , there are lots of small and big factories which consume resources
such
 as water and electric power in order to release their productions ;
therefore
 , using and wasting resources will be destroyed the environment in the new future unfortunately.
To conclude
 , in the modern world
constantly
Change the word
constant
show examples
 changes in the style of
clothes
 not only put humans in a bad way but
also
 vanishes the ecosystem of the environment.
Submitted by sajad.bazdar.2012 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the other. Use linking words and transition sentences effectively for better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Clearly state your introduction and conclusion. The essay should start with an introduction that paraphrases the question and ends with a succinct conclusion that summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with clear examples and explanations. Develop your paragraphs sufficiently by expanding on your arguments.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Provide a clear position throughout the response, ensuring that your opinion is consistent and well-supported.
task achievement
Present ideas that are relevant to the task question. Misinterpretations or irrelevant details can lower this score.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. General statements should be substantiated with precise examples for higher effectiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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