2.The international community must act immediately to ensure all nations to reduce their consumption of fossil fuels e.g., gas and oil. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

"It is essential for the global community to monitor whether each country cuts down the use of fossil
fuels
such
as gas and oil as soon as possible. In my opinion, the international community is undoubtedly responsible for taking instant actions regarding worldwide fossil
fuels
Change the noun form
fuel
show examples
consumption. It is my view that climate change, which is the current main issue around the world, is especially caused by excessive fossil
fuels
Change the noun form
fuel
show examples
consumption. Burning fossil
fuels
emits carbon dioxide which is a potent greenhouse gas and can easily result in a rising temperature.
Therefore
, extreme weather events and heat waves become inevitable.
For instance
, with a rising temperature, there would be a loss of biodiversity, destruction of food resources and risks to human well-being and health.
This
problematic issue needs to be taken into consideration immediately and globally to be overcome.
In contrast
, some people claim that cutting down fossil
fuels
can lead to several financial problems. They firmly insist that there are countless workers that have been working in industrial sections related to fuel and if there was less fossil fuel to be consumed in factories, there would be an increasing number of unemployed. I do not find
this
argument as convincing as it appears to overlook the fact that reducing fossil
fuels
Change the noun form
fuel
show examples
consumption not only cuts down carbon emissions but
also
creates greater job opportunities.
For example
, there would be an increasing demand for
workforces
Fix the agreement mistake
workforce
show examples
in nuclear power
plants
Fix the agreement mistake
plant
show examples
construction
as well as
vacancies in factories that manufacture solar panels. In conclusion, I completely agree that the international community needs to take action instantly because all species from humans to plants and animals are seriously at risk."
Submitted by m.r.zamani1376678 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay includes a clear logical structure. Your main points were generally well-organized, but transitions between them could be smoother. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure flow throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to introduce your essay topic and provide a conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively. Your introduction and conclusion were present and set the boundaries of your argument well, but refining and emphasizing your standpoint in the conclusion could further strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence. While you did provide examples, they could be more detailed and directly tied to your argument to illustrate your points more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. While you addressed the topic, make sure your position is clear throughout the essay. Expand on counterarguments to enhance the complexity of your discussion.
task achievement
Your essay's ideas are adequately clear and comprehensive, but strive for more depth in your examination of the issue. Take the time to explore the implications of your argument in more detail.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. The examples given are a good start, but offering real-world case studies or more precise data could strengthen your position and demonstrate a higher level of understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: