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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian Countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian Countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #summarise #features #comparisions
The line graph illustrates the
percentage
 of the population in
Correct article usage
the Philppines
show examples
Philppines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
,
Malaysia
,
Thailand
, and
Indonesia
 from 1970 to 2020. It
also
 provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
predictions
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2030 and 2040.
Overall
, from 1970 to 2020, the
percentage
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people living in rural areas in
Malaysia
,
Indonesia
, and
Thailand
 increased
while
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 witnessed
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuation
show examples
.
However
, it
estimated
Add a missing verb
is estimated
show examples
 that these four
cities
 will have increased significantly in 2030 and 2040. As a graph shows, the
percentage
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people living in rural areas in
Malaysia
 and
Indonesia
 witnessed a significant
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 from 1970 to 2020. In
Malaysia
, it was accounted
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 from 30% to about 75%.
Moreover
, in
Indonesia
, it increased from around 12% to nearly 50%.
In addition
, the rates of population living in
cities
 in
Thailand
 experienced a gradual
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 from nearly 20% in 1970 to around 30% in 2020.
In contrast
, the
percentage
 of people living in
cities
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 witnessed some
fluctuatuions
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
fluctuation
 from about 31% in 1970 and
then
 increased rapidly to about 49% in 1990 before it declined gradually to 40% in 2020.
However
, it accounted that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Malaysia
,
Indonesia
,
Thailand
, and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 will have
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentage
 of population living in
cities
 in 2030 and 2040, from 80% to about 82%, 60% to around 62%, about 35% to around 45%, and nearly 50% to about 52%, respectively.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, malaysia, thailand, indonesia, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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