IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A friend you met last year has invited you to visit him/her in his/her country. You have never been there before and need some information before you leave. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: request advise about a gift for his/her family ask about activities and clothing in his/her country find out about the food

#friend #year #visit #country #information #request #gift #activities #food
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Dear Jack, It's been a year since we met at my birthday party. Now, again we are meeting soon so I am writing
this
 letter to inquire about your country, which I never got a chance to visit there. I want to ask you and need advice for a gift for your family that I would love to present surprise for them so could you please guide me about your family likes and dislikes. My friend you know I am passionate about clothing sense and always active to participate in any activities. could you please suggest to me and participation and clothing fair available in my journey period so I can take advantage of being there? One
last
 thing was food you are
also
 aware that I am foody and interested in researching and testing different cuisines from individual restaurants. Make sure you provide me with all the information which I want to explore and taste during my holiday period. See you soon dear. Lovely wishes, Hardik Mehta
Submitted by patelhardik2199 on

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coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and the ideas between paragraphs flow logically. Use cohesive devices effectively and vary your sentence structures to enhance readability.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to fully develop each point. Expand upon the request for advice about a gift, inquire more deeply about recommended activities, and explicitly convey the clothing advice you seek. Healthily elaborate upon interest in the local cuisine, contextually embedding these within the personal experiences you share with your friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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