IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the graph describes the amount of the population
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65 and over. The comparison from the past 1940 and predicted in 2040 by three
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 from all around the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the information that
given
Add the auxiliary verb
was given
show examples
 by the data.
Proportion
Add an article
The proportion
show examples
 of the population
been
Add a missing verb
has been
show examples
 increased. USA and Sweden
wre
Correct your spelling
were
are
 higher than
Japan
Use synonyms
 when
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 started to
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compare
show examples
.
Hoever
Correct your spelling
However
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 time which is
predicting
Wrong verb form
predicted to
show examples
 be highest on top of
point
Add an article
the point
show examples
.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means living more
healthy
Change the word
healthily
show examples
once developing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
addition
Correct your spelling
addiction
show examples
. Starting with Sweden, starting at 8 % of the
eldey
Correct your spelling
elderly
elder
 people in 1940 and rising up every 20
yaers
Correct your spelling
years
.
While
Linking Words
 it
is fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuates
fluctuated
show examples
 between 1980 to 2020, but still
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 25% in 2040. USA
also
Linking Words
 stood at 9% when started and clime up between 1960 to 1980, but was stood at
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
positon
Correct your spelling
position
show examples
 and dropped from1980to 2020 and
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 23% in 2040
by
Change preposition
as
show examples
 predicted.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 was
Correct article usage
the ony
show examples
ony
Correct your spelling
only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
nation that dropped from started
adn
Correct your spelling
and
 still can not level up in 30 years. Since 1980
Japan
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 slightly rise up adn
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 time was
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top of
point
Add an article
the point
show examples
. which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 more healthier people are living in
Japan
Use synonyms
 than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
tow
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 countries.
Submitted by Chaiyapat Soka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words japan with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: