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Writing Samples
Band 6

Question : Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. •What problems can lack of sleep cause? •What can be done about lack of sleep?

#people #difficulties #•what #lack
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Presently, Several people complain about the inability to get sufficient sleep. Insufficient sleep can cause depression and obesity
while
 the possible solutions are yoga or listening to
music
 and exercises.
Firstly
, the lack of sleep mainly from their jobs or studies can lead to depression. Nowadays, many companies put pressure on employees to work overtime to finish the projects. Because of that they lost their sleep and became anxious about how to finish the work in a limited time. As for the students, they lost sleep
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 during the exam period.
For example
, I hardly slept for only four hours for my exams. So, the anxiety from both studies and work causes depression.
Secondly
, the lack of sleep can cause obesity. The body is always functioning when we are awake, so the body needs rest but the low sleep pattern leads the body to function in an improper way which can gain
weight
 in some people.
For instance
, hormone imbalances can be a reason for
weight
 gain. The possible solutions to reduce
stress
 are yoga or listening to their favourite pieces of
music
.
Music
 therapy is the best medicine to reduce
stress
 in people. Yoga can
also
 help humans to relieve
stress
. Another solution is exercise which can both help to maintain sleep and reduce
weight
 gain. To illustrate, exercise makes more calories to burn and
also
 helps to lead a good sleep. In conclusion,
music
 therapy and exercises can help the person to reduce
stress
 and help in the
weight
 loss journey.
Submitted by jeenusarah on

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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction sets a clear context for the topic and include a thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed.
Coherence
Use a variety of sentence structures and transitional phrases to improve the flow and connectivity between ideas.
Cohesion
Develop your ideas more fully with relevant examples for each point to strengthen your arguments and maintain the reader's interest.
Task Response
Make sure you cover all parts of the prompts clearly and to an equal extent, to fully meet the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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