Nowadays, we are surround by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss with both views and give your own opinion.
Commercials have become part of our daily life that we can not avoid, they are everywhere.
While
some people
argue that ads are actually beneficial, few others believe the opposite. This
essay is going to discuss both perspectives and why I think that ads are actually bringing an overall
positive impact in today's society.
As we all might already be aware , the number of advertisements has dramatically ramped up to the point that few people
no longer believe in the credibility of those reviews anymore. However
, this
is not a peculiar phenomenon considering some of them are fake and do not show the real quality of the brand. Their sole purpose is to lure the public to buy the product so they can make more money. For example
, this
well-known international make-up product recently released a mascara that is
claimed to be able to stay for up to 12 hours. Nonetheless
, the majority of disappointed users contradict the claim and say that it could only hold for merely 5 hours. That is
just one of the many examples people
are experiencing.
On the other hand
, publicities have shown its crucial position on several occasions in people
's lives. A significant number of people
expressed their frequent encounters with adverts and said that they somehow need them on a daily basis. This
is then
proven by recent research from the University of Indonesia that estimated around 68% of Indonesians are relying on their choice based on celebrity reviews, or known as endorsements. Endorsement is a type of soft-selling adverts that has successfully influenced a variety of people
and quickly became a thing in Indonesia. For instance
, the majority of teenagers in my university nowadays follow all these artists on social media and always look at their reviews before buying a product, mostly makeup or skin care.
To conclude
, even though advertisements have some flaws, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks as long as we all can be careful and choose what type of ads to take into consideration before buying wisely.Submitted by elissa223 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay shows a satisfactory level of coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is mostly clear, but could be enhanced with better paragraphing and more explicit linking words that guide the reader. Introduction and conclusion are present and correctly frame the essay, but the conclusion might benefit from a stronger restatement of the main points and personal opinion.
task achievement
Task achievement could be improved by providing a more balanced discussion of both views. While both sides are generally covered, there's an imbalance in development; more depth and a direct comparison between the views would be beneficial. Furthermore, the essay should consistently address the prompt with more focused and elaborated ideas, rather than just mentioning or listing. Use additional relevant and specific examples to support your points.