In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is not
common
Correct article usage
a common

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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agreement anymore whether having a university degree is fundamental or not to achieve a good job. Nowadays, multiple young people prefer to be trained at work rather than enrolling in an academic course.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay is going to debate both the positive and negative sides of work-based training. The main advantage of on-the-job training is a shorter invested time when compared to a tertiary education course.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can be explained by a much more focused approach in the former type of education, avoiding subjects that are not very practical or that are related to research.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if someone decides to work as an electrician,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

individual might not need to spend time learning about non-electric related techniques as an engineer would.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the person could be working and financially independent a lot quicker than those who choose an academic path. On the other side, avoiding college
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has its drawbacks. The major negative is that not having a university degree may offer you a more limited range of job opportunities in the future.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is the consequence of both less varied knowledge and the fact that multiple employers still require
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

quality when hiring new employees.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, without academic
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications

It seems that qualification may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, the person might have fewer job options and, sometimes, might even be limited to a certain company.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, even though work-based training can be a shortcut to a work position, it might result in bigger challenges in the future for the employee. In my view, it is worth spending a longer time in education in order to achieve an academic degree and ensure a more guaranteed future.

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task achievement
Consider adding more detailed examples or data to enrich the argument and illustrate points more concretely.
coherence cohesion
Try varying the sentence structure more, while maintaining the clear and concise expression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, guiding the reader smoothly through the argumentation.
task achievement
Both advantages and disadvantages are discussed in a balanced manner, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow, effectively linking ideas within and across paragraphs.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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