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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries ▪️Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries ▪️Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #challenges #people #face #countries #▪️summarise #features #comparisons
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The chart gives information about the difficulties that
peole
Correct your spelling
people
face
Use synonyms
 when they go to live overseas.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of 18
-
Change preposition
apply
show examples
34
Correct word choice
and 34
show examples
 experience the highest challenges compared to the other ages. Looking in more
detalis
Correct your spelling
detail
details
, almost 30% of
people
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
18
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 34
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
 to
face
Use synonyms
 a problem
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 learning the local language. The older society with the
age
Use synonyms
 of 35-54 has 35% of
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 who
get
Verb problem
have
show examples
 difficulty
to study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
 a new
languange
Correct your spelling
language
.
Also
Linking Words
, more than 50% of older
people
Use synonyms
 with
age
Use synonyms
 more than 50
face
Use synonyms
 the same problem.
People
Use synonyms
 who are more than 55 years old could find somewhere to live
easier
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 compared to
the
Correct your spelling
those
show examples
orther
Correct your spelling
other
 ages.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
, young
people
Use synonyms
 tend to find it difficult to make friends. It shows from the graph that 46%
face
Use synonyms
 a problem
to make
Change preposition
with making
show examples
 new friends.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 with the
age
Use synonyms
 of 35-54 and more than 55 have lower percentages, they are 36% and 23%.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words face, people, age with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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