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Band 6

Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. Which do you think is a better approach?

#people #companies #institutions #approaches #approach
In the contemporary job market, individuals often face the choice between pursuing
self
Add a hyphen
self-employment
show examples
employment
 or working within established companies or institutions. Each
approach
 carries distinct advantages and disadvantages, and the preference for
one
 over the other is subjective.
This
 essay will delve into the merits and drawbacks of both
self-
employment
 and traditional
employment
 before offering my perspective on which
approach
 might be considered superior.
One
 significant advantage of
self-
employment
 is the autonomy it affords. Entrepreneurs have the freedom to set their own schedules, make independent decisions, and shape the direction of their businesses.
This
 autonomy can lead to a greater sense of personal
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
, as individuals take ownership of their professional
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
. Traditional
employment
 offers stability, with a fixed income and often comprehensive benefits packages. Employees benefit from a structured work environment, opportunities for professional development, and social interactions with colleagues.
This
 stability and support can contribute to job security and
overall
 well-being. In my opinion, the choice between
self-
employment
 and traditional
employment
 depends on individual preferences and priorities.
While
self-
employment
 offers autonomy and the potential for unlimited income, traditional
employment
 provides stability, benefits, and a structured work environment. The ideal
approach
 may involve a careful consideration of
one
's goals, risk tolerance, and desired work-life balance. Ultimately, both paths have their merits, and the better
approach
 is the
one
 that aligns with an individual's unique circumstances and aspirations. In conclusion, the choice between
self-
employment
 and traditional
employment
 hinges on individual priorities. Each offers unique benefits and drawbacks, requiring careful consideration based on personal goals and preferences.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are expanded upon with specific examples and explanations. The essay demonstrates potential but lacks detailed examples to support the main points.
task achievement
While the response addresses the task prompt, offering a discussion about the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment versus traditional employment, it would benefit from deeper exploration and more concrete examples to illustrate the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • benefits
  • career progression
  • flexible schedule
  • financial planning
  • entrepreneurial
  • job security
  • networking opportunities
  • work-life balance
  • unpredictable income
  • self-discipline
  • risk tolerance
  • employee benefits
  • corporate ladder
  • professional development
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