IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Due to
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 the rapid developments of sciences and
technology
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, we are currently living in the digital era.
Technology
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 has been embedded in our daily lives, as it has the ability to accommodate various kinds of one's needs. Surely,
this
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 includes our necessity to gain information about the world.
Thus
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, different kinds of digital
newspapers
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 and books emerge, making it much simpler for us to read nowadays.
However
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, I believe that despite its simplicity, old-school methods of reading are still a must to exist. It is well-known that by simply using our devices, we now have easy access towards any sort of information; To add up to its benefits, most of the information requires zero charge.
While
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this
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 modern-day method is redeemed as easy on today's generations, it is important for us to keep in mind that
this
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 world is really diverse. Up until now, there are still lots of groups of
people
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, especially the older generations, who are unable to understand the ways of
technology
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.
In addition
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, the number of
people
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 who live in poverty is still concerningly high. Those who live on extremely low incomes do not have the privilege to buy new technologies.
Hence
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, the market of printed
newspapers
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 still exists. Judging by the way
this
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 world's development is still divided unfairly, with the rich becoming richer whilst the poor become poorer, it is very plausible that
this
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 issue of imbalance remains in the future.
Moreover
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, despite the simplicity of digital
newspapers
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 and books, there are definitely lots of
people
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 who prefer reading in an old-school way, including me. I personally feel like there is a significant difference between the two platforms of reading. Though it may seem like a no-brainer to choose the free digital option, I would rather read something on printed media as it removes me from the danger of eye damage
due to
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 a
technology
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's screen radiation. In conclusion, I strongly believe that in the years ahead of us, printed
newspapers
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 and book buyers will remain a thing. In spite of modern-day digitalization's simplicity, there are large groups of
people
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 who do not have the ability to purchase and/or utilize
such
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 advanced
technology
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.
Additionally
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, several
people
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 prefer printed outlets over digital ones.
Therefore
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, old-school methods of reading will still be relevant in the future.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to arrange your ideas into clear logical paragraphs, with each central idea fully developed and supported.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs to provide a clearer progression of thoughts and ideas. Try using cohesive devices appropriately to show the relationship between paragraphs and sentences.
coherence cohesion
You need more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate linguistic range.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide an overview and final thought on the topic, respectively. Make sure they are well-linked to your main body paragraphs and reiterate the core points of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that each point mentioned in your essay directly contributes to addressing the task at hand, which is the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement.
task achievement
Clarity and comprehensiveness in presenting your ideas are good. However, strive to add depth to your explanations and more directly address the prompt.
task achievement
Provide more concrete and specific examples to support your points. This will show a greater ability to illustrate and explain your perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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