Today many young people and teenagers go to jail because of committing crime especially violence. What are the causes of this? Can you offer any solutions?

The increasing rate of crime among adolescents has provoked alarm among authorities,
parents
and teachers. Diverse contributory factors can be held accountable for
this
critical issue, among which
media
and
parents
play a crucial role, and the problem will not be addressed unless the appropriate remedies are obtained and prompt actions are taken
accordingly
. Regarding the causes of juvenile delinquency,
parents
, schools and
media
are the prominent factors. In the case of
media
, teenagers are widely exposed to brutal violence on TV and in movies, in which aggression is valued as they showcase one’s courage and maturity,
consequently
encouraging children to display
such
undesirable behaviour at home or school. On the other side, schools should assume responsibility as they are not aware of the fast-paced changes in technology that eventually exert far-reaching effects on schoolchildren.
Finally
, another primary cause lies in the family, the most important social institution, whose job is to raise and discipline their children in a way
that is
consistent with social norms and laws.
This
can be
due to
the fact that
parents
have to work hardly hard and they miss the opportunity to exercise control
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
the teenagers’ moral behaviour. Having examined the underlying causes, it is time to turn to the plausible solutions. When it comes to social
media
, it seems challenging to bring them under control, at least in the foreseeable future.
Parents
and teachers,
therefore
, should adopt a profound role to tighten the supervision
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the content their children read, watch, and play.
Additionally
, they may be able to alleviate the situation by redefining values
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and creating a culture in which violence is frowned upon.
To sum up
, the remedies of the issue are rooted in obtaining insight and taking steps
meanwhile
Rephrase
otherwise
show examples
,
otherwise
the growing tendency among juveniles to commit a crime will not be tackled adequately.
Submitted by Haniehfathi98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all points made within the essay are fully expanded upon, with clear and specific examples provided to support each point.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical structure of the essay by ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally to the next, with a clear progression of ideas and the use of cohesive devices to guide the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: