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Writing Samples
Band 8

Today, many people are suffering from stress. What are the causes? What solutions can you offer?

#people #stress #offer
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Anxiety and stress-related diseases have always been an indispensable part of human life since the dawn of modernity and industrialism. The underlying factors are by and large rooted in the advent of technology and social crises. Diverse strategies,
however
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, could be employed to deal with these issues, some of which will be discussed here. The stress and strain of today’s hectic lives are mainly attributed to the prevalence of technology. By way of illustration, the irresistible urge to use gadgets like cellphones and laptops on a daily basis has been making it difficult to draw a distinction between private and social life, as they facilitate working regardless of place and time. On a large scale,
on the other hand
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, social issues can exert far-reaching effects on one’s mental health. A middle-income worker,
for instance
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, may face a huge burden of financial problems
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 inflation in an unstable economy.
Additionally
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, trivial problems
such
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 as traffic and pollution appear to pose pressure on every single individual in society. How can people deal with
such
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 problems? One critical step would be diverting one’s attention from technology and the internet. To tackle
this
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 problem, many psychologists suggest that each person should be indulged in a hobby, taking some time off from the fast-paced life. They can relish taking care of a pet or participating in charity activities to alleviate stress considerably. In the case of serious social disorders, people need to be treated under the supervision of a professional psychologist or psychiatrist.
To sum up
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, these issues attributed to stress and anxiety in the modern world would not be addressed unless every member of society gains a profound insight and takes action
accordingly
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.
Submitted by Haniehfathi98 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
You should ensure that there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Although the structure generally makes sense, at times the connection between ideas could be enhanced through better use of cohesive devices. Remember to avoid overusing them while ensuring a clear connection between your points.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the task well by identifying the causes and offering solutions to stress. To further improve your score, expand upon your examples to fully develop your arguments. You could include more detailed illustrations or real-world scenarios to emphasize the validity of your points and make the solutions more tailored and specific.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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