WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

From ancient times until now, all

people

have been interested in living longer, and scientists have always looking for a way for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

survive

Fix the infinitive

to survive

show examples

Although

living long without good health is really annoying.

According to

the available statistics, the increase in

people

's life expectancy regardless of their health causes problems

such

as the lack of hospital beds, which is a big challenge in most

Change preposition

apply

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the populous countries, when the age of the population of a country increases, the care of the elderly and the cost of their treatment for the family And society is not affordable

Also

, the care of the elderly by their children probably creates many problems for them that they have to spend a lot of time caring for their old parents, especially when the elderly suffer from acute diseases

such

as cancer and Alzheimer's, they need special and basic care.

On the other hand

, not all old

people

are ill. Those who remain healthy can enjoy a happy old age as long as they have saved enough money.

People

have time to enjoy their retirement and do a range of activities that they could not do when they were at work. They can

also

help look after their grandchildren, which is a great benefit for working parents. In conclusion, I believe that we should aim to keep

people

as healthy as possible so that they can enjoy their old age without having to rely on others. a longer life expectancy is advantageous, but no one wants to live to be 100 if they only cause problems for their family and society.

Submitted by emadheydarnia on Sat Jul 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance the overall clarity and readability of your essay, consider organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear main idea. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning particular countries or statistics can help illustrate your arguments more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Providing clear connections between your ideas helps to improve the logical flow of your essay.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced view, presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly stating your viewpoint and summarizing the main points of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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