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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today, it is very common to have people from two different generations mix in the same workplace. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this situation?

#people #two #generations #mix #workplace #situation
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In our contemporary world, it has become increasingly common to combine to different sets of generations together at a workplace.
This
 essay will outline how mixing younger and older
generation
 can serve as an advantage to a wokplace and we will
also
 highlight some cons linked to
this
 merger. One of the primary advantage of combining different age groups at a work place could help both the generations to learn different ways of working from each other. Older
generation
 can learn their way around technology and young gerneration can learn from older people's experience.
For instance
: recruitment of young graduates in big MNCs in several parts of UK has lead to smooth working of an enviornment. The versatility of the workforce can ultimatley lead to enhanced productivity and early achivement of targets.
Conversely
,
this
 mixing can
also
 lead to some major drawbacks like older
generation
 might start to feel insecure for their job security after the joining of young employee.
This
 insecurity can
also
 led to chaos and friction between employees.
For example
: In a MNC in Vietnam, when young
generation
 was appointed to work along side older
generation
 in a renowned office, it resulted in regular fights and failure to achieve deadlines.
To conclude
, merger of two generations presents dual narrative of advantages and disadvantages.
while
 combination of two brings in versitality and diversity in work style, it
also
 poses chalanges like job insecurity for older generaion and friction between employees.
Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on

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grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy and spellcheck as there are several minor mistakes, such as 'to' instead of 'two', 'gerneration' instead of 'generation', and 'ultimatley' instead of 'ultimately'. These errors can distract from the quality of your argument.
idea development
Expand on your ideas more thoroughly. While you do mentioned both advantages and disadvantages, providing deeper analysis and more relevant examples would strengthen your points.
conclusion
Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the points discussed in the body paragraphs without repeating them verbatim. Try paraphrasing for a stronger impact.
introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and sets up the essay nicely, making it easy to understand what to expect.
idea support
You have included relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments and shows your understanding of the topic.
balance
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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