Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

A part of individuals are thought to adopt an awful condition, like an unsatisfied profession or less amount money they are getting. Another proportion of the community thinks putting better efforts to increase their status. Sometimes, an unavoidable circumstance occurs in human life and they start thinking about staying in the same position of making a better career. Situations never be the same ups and downs are a part of everybody’s life. Masses should be motivated and try to improve their current situations and remove any obstacles they are facing in their lives. In the given essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. People should try to improve their skills and keep trying for new opportunities. They need to regularly monitor the profession market, for any new openings with better pay and work. For exemplify, an electronic engineer needs to update their skills to get employment in the telecommunication field, like fibre technologies, which falls under telecommunication skills. So, they can make good money. It is a new technology and globally and locally companies need more and more experts to perform satisfactory results. In Australia, the National Broadband Network (NBN) need more experts who can perform better jobs to provide day to day basis services to their valued customers. Even at the time of covid outbreak, NBN Technicians were working day and night to make their customers happy at that bad time. Nowadays, a competition in the market all around the world, some portions of persons are not satisfied with their current employment
due to
getting less pay or an unfavourite career. It is happening Outsourcing business to cheap labour countries. They need to survive, so they can feed their families and pay day-to-day expenses.
For example
, computer software employment is moving overseas in cheap labour countries around the world like India and China. In these countries, labour is cheap as compared to Australia. Local society doesn’t have any other options to move to the next good pay, so they keep working with their current employers with the same salary or less without any promotions. Some employees compromise with their current situation and want to stay as it is.
To conclude
, in my opinion, the population should keep trying for a better profession,
instead
of sticking with one work, which does not give any satisfaction and good money to make them happy, so they can enjoy themselves with their families and friends.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, making it difficult to follow the argument. Organize your ideas clearly with separate paragraphs for each viewpoint and your own opinion, using linking words to show the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are not fully developed. Start with a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the question and provides a thesis statement. Conclude with a paragraph that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
While some main points have been supported, more detailed explanations and examples would strengthen the argument. Each main point should be elaborated on with specific details or evidence where possible.
task achievement
The response does not fully address the task as it does not discuss both viewpoints and the writer's opinion effectively throughout the essay. Ensure that the essay objectively addresses the views before stating your own opinion and that it adheres to the prompt.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates some understanding of the topic but lacks clarity in presenting comprehensive ideas. Work on structuring sentences and paragraphs to make the argument more accessible and easier to understand.
task achievement
Relevant examples have been provided but could be more specific and tied directly to the argument for greater impact. Use examples that clearly support your main points and are directly related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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