The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
THE DEVELOPMENT OF
TECHNOLOGY
HAS A BIG IMPACT ON RELATIONSHIPS AND LIFE
BETWEEN PEOPLE
TO OTHERS
.THE AUTHOR SEE THAT IT HAS A LOT OF BENEFITS LIKE EASY TO CONTACT AND EASY TO ADD FRIENDS
WHILE
THE DRAWBACK IS MAKES PEOPLE
GET AWAY FROM SOCIETY.THE WRITER WILL MAKE IT CLEAR IN THE NEXT PASSAGE.
FIRSTLY
,THE BENEFIT OF SOCIAL MEDIA
IS
MAKES Unnecessary verb
apply
community
EASY TO Correct article usage
the community
unity
Replace the word
unite
OTHERS
.IN OTHER WORDS
,EVERYONE CAN TEXT AND RECEIVE MORE FASTLY.FOR EXAMPLE
,IF YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT THING TO SHARE WITH YOUR FRIEND,YOU CAN service machinery TO SEND TEXT MESSAGES AND SEE THE FEEDBACK MORE FASTLY.THUS
,SOCIAL MEDIA
MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN OTHERS
CONNECTED.
SECONDLY
,NETWORKING HELP YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR OLD FRIENDS
.IT CAN BE EXPLAINED THAT YOU HAVE FRIENDS
FROM PRIMARY SCHOOL,SECONDARY
SCHOOL AND YOU WANT TO CONTACT WITH THEM FOREVER,YOU JUST CAN USE Correct word choice
AND SECONDARY
TECHNOLOGY
.FOR INSTANCE
,I ADD
THEIR ACCOUNT WAS 5 YEARS AGO AND I STILL KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THEM,JUST BY THE INTERNET.Wrong verb form
ADDED
HENCE
,TECHNOLOGY
MAKE US KEEP IN TOUCH AND KEEP THE MEMORY TOGETHER.
HOWEVER
,SOCIAL MEDIA
CAUSES THE POPULATION TO GET AWAY FROM SOCIETY,AND JUST FOCUS ON THEIR SMARTPHONE.CITIZENS ALWAYS USE SMARTPHONES FOR THEIR ENTERTAINMENT ,ALSO
THEY USE AI INSTEAD
OF HUMANS.TAKE MY FRIEND FOR INSTANCE
,SHE USES ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TO TEXT MESSAGES AND COMMUNICATES LIKE A REAL PERSON.THIS
MAY BE TRUE,BUT SOCIAL MEDIA
HELP PEOPLE
A LOT IN THEIR LIFE
AND IN THEIR COMMUNICATION.CONSEQUENTLY
,TECHNOLOGY
MAKE OUR LIFE
MORE AND MORE EASIER.
TO SUM UP
,THE INTERNET HELPS PEOPLE
GET AWAY FROM SOCIETY OUTWEIGH TECHNOLOGY
HELPS PEOPLE
EASY TO
CONTACT AND EASY TO ADD Replace the word
EASILY
FRIENDS
.WE CAN
DENY THAT Rephrase
CANNOT
TECHNOLOGY
IS A PART OF THE LIFE
OF EVERYONE AND IT MAKE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN OTHERS
MORE
BETTERCorrect quantifier usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clear structure, with no discernible paragraphs or logical progression of ideas. To improve, structure your essay with an introduction, at least two supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion need clear and direct statements related to the essay question. Your introduction is vague and the conclusion does not succinctly summarise your points or answer the question directly.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are present but not well-developed or supported. Expand on your ideas and provide more clear and detailed explanations or examples to support your points.
task achievement
Your response sometimes addresses the task but often remains superficial and undeveloped. Respond directly to all parts of the question and offer a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages with stronger arguments and clearly separated paragraphs.
task achievement
Your ideas would benefit from being explored more comprehensively with clearer and more precise language. Avoid using words or phrases that are off-topic and focus on directly answering the question.
task achievement
Specific examples are needed to illustrate your points more clearly. Ensure that examples are directly relevant to the topic and provide evidence or anecdotes to back up your claims.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...