The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #media #relationships #society #communication

THE DEVELOPMENT OF

TECHNOLOGY

HAS A BIG IMPACT ON RELATIONSHIPS AND

LIFE

BETWEEN

PEOPLE

OTHERS

.THE AUTHOR SEE THAT IT HAS A LOT OF BENEFITS LIKE EASY TO CONTACT AND EASY TO ADD

FRIENDS

WHILE

THE DRAWBACK IS MAKES

PEOPLE

GET AWAY FROM SOCIETY.THE WRITER WILL MAKE IT CLEAR IN THE NEXT PASSAGE.

FIRSTLY

,THE BENEFIT OF SOCIAL

MEDIA

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

MAKES

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

EASY TO

unity

Replace the word

unite

show examples

OTHERS

IN OTHER WORDS

,EVERYONE CAN TEXT AND RECEIVE MORE FASTLY.

FOR EXAMPLE

,IF YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT THING TO SHARE WITH YOUR FRIEND,YOU CAN service machinery TO SEND TEXT MESSAGES AND SEE THE FEEDBACK MORE FASTLY.

THUS

,SOCIAL

MEDIA

MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN

OTHERS

CONNECTED.

SECONDLY

,NETWORKING HELP YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR OLD

FRIENDS

.IT CAN BE EXPLAINED THAT YOU HAVE

FRIENDS

FROM PRIMARY SCHOOL,

SECONDARY

Correct word choice

AND SECONDARY

show examples

SCHOOL AND YOU WANT TO CONTACT WITH THEM FOREVER,YOU JUST CAN USE

TECHNOLOGY

FOR INSTANCE

ADD

Wrong verb form

ADDED

show examples

THEIR ACCOUNT WAS 5 YEARS AGO AND I STILL KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THEM,JUST BY THE INTERNET.

HENCE

TECHNOLOGY

MAKE US KEEP IN TOUCH AND KEEP THE MEMORY TOGETHER.

HOWEVER

,SOCIAL

MEDIA

CAUSES THE POPULATION TO GET AWAY FROM SOCIETY,AND JUST FOCUS ON THEIR SMARTPHONE.CITIZENS ALWAYS USE SMARTPHONES FOR THEIR ENTERTAINMENT ,

ALSO

THEY USE AI

INSTEAD

OF HUMANS.TAKE MY FRIEND

FOR INSTANCE

,SHE USES ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TO TEXT MESSAGES AND COMMUNICATES LIKE A REAL PERSON.

THIS

MAY BE TRUE,BUT SOCIAL

MEDIA

HELP

PEOPLE

A LOT IN THEIR

LIFE

AND IN THEIR COMMUNICATION.

CONSEQUENTLY

TECHNOLOGY

MAKE OUR

LIFE

MORE AND MORE EASIER.

TO SUM UP

,THE INTERNET HELPS

PEOPLE

GET AWAY FROM SOCIETY OUTWEIGH

TECHNOLOGY

HELPS

PEOPLE

EASY TO

Replace the word

EASILY

show examples

CONTACT AND EASY TO ADD

FRIENDS

.WE

CAN

Rephrase

CANNOT

show examples

DENY THAT

TECHNOLOGY

IS A PART OF THE

LIFE

OF EVERYONE AND IT MAKE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN

OTHERS

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

BETTER

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Jan 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks clear structure, with no discernible paragraphs or logical progression of ideas. To improve, structure your essay with an introduction, at least two supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion need clear and direct statements related to the essay question. Your introduction is vague and the conclusion does not succinctly summarise your points or answer the question directly.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are present but not well-developed or supported. Expand on your ideas and provide more clear and detailed explanations or examples to support your points.

task achievement

Your response sometimes addresses the task but often remains superficial and undeveloped. Respond directly to all parts of the question and offer a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages with stronger arguments and clearly separated paragraphs.

task achievement

Your ideas would benefit from being explored more comprehensively with clearer and more precise language. Avoid using words or phrases that are off-topic and focus on directly answering the question.

task achievement

Specific examples are needed to illustrate your points more clearly. Ensure that examples are directly relevant to the topic and provide evidence or anecdotes to back up your claims.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

global connectivity
networking opportunities
real-time information
community building
marketing opportunities
self-expression
educational content
privacy concerns
data security
misinformation
fake news
cyberbullying
interpersonal skills
distraction
productivity

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The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The most important aims of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that the extended family is not as important now as if once was. Others think that its worth has not changed because people always need help from their family members. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports in the media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. Huyen.

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