The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages ?
Social media is a crucial way to develop relationships with citizens in today's digital.
This
writer argues that the pros of connecting over the world and entertainment surpass the cons of isolation in real life.
The most advantageous factor of using social networks is that they can meet the requirements of almost all humans. In other words
, global connection by meeting face-to-face has become uncommon in recent years due to
the face of technological development. In fact, most individuals communicate by using social networking sites like Facebook, Instagram, etc. For example, Discord app among gamers of all ages, users can join a channel and strike up a conversation.
Amusement must also
be considered. It must be recognised that the quick speed of updating news or trends is the main reason why social platforms a fixed with citizens. So , demanding human beings wish not to be old-fashioned in the Information Age. It is a platform with a variety of groups and topics, which is consistent with many objects in the community.
However
, a number of people believe that being addicted to online communities causes the distance between individuals to have the potential to be a drawback. They think that if teenagers addicted to chatting on the Internet and depend on it, it has an enormous impact on virtual life is higher than before. Consequently
, communal media is merely a tool to communicate and cannot replace a person.
Taking all points into account, the distance of isolation from real life is outweighed by the advantage of characteristics and comfort. Thus
, learning how to use social is possible for young generations.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task response
The essay presents a view on the advantages and disadvantages of social media, but it lacks a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay. Your position is not restated in the conclusion.
logical structure
The structure of the essay is recognizable, however, the paragraphs are underdeveloped. Each paragraph should present one main idea and be fully elaborated with clear explanations and examples. Transition words should be used effectively to lead the reader from one idea to the next, ensuring logical sequencing.
introduction and conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they do not bookend the essay effectively. The introduction should provide a clear thesis statement, and the conclusion should restate the writer's position and summarize the main points of the essay. Both need to be more impactful.
supported main points
While you provided one relevant example, the main ideas and arguments presented in the essay are not fully supported. You need to develop your ideas further with more detailed explanations and additional relevant examples. All main points should be thoroughly supported.
task achievement
Your response reflects an understanding of the task, but the response is not fully developed and sometimes lacks relevance. Ensure that you respond completely to all parts of the task, your ideas remain relevant to the question throughout the essay, and that you develop your position with appropriate reasons and examples.
coherence
The ideas related to the impact of social media seem to merge together without distinguished analysis or presentation. Work on clarifying and comprehensively presenting each idea before moving on to the next. This clarity will enhance the logical progression of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.