Some people believe that governments should spend money on the arts. Others assert that this money should be used to improve public services and infrastructure.

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In the modern world, it is thought that governments ought to invest money in the arts, meanwhile, many people confirm that a more beneficial way is spending

this

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budget on public services and infrastructure. In my view, investing in public services is more essential rather than the arts. On the one hand, some people are deeply into artwork, viewing it as a way to express cultural identity.

While

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spending finance on urban development, we shouldn't neglect our theatres, music and dance, as they represent the cultural heritage of our society. Populations with rich traditions in music and poetry are often considered politer and possess broader horizons. In many developed countries, individuals who appreciate craft spend significant amounts of funds to support it.

Additionally

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, art can help enrich cultural vitality, enhance happiness, and improve the

overall

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quality of life.

Moreover

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, art can bring people together, providing opportunities for social interaction, community building, and understanding diverse perspectives.

On the other hand

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, it is widely accepted that spending funds on the arts can be seen as a waste of capital.

Therefore

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, it is necessary to invest in public well-being, economic stimulation, and basic needs.

For instance

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, comprehensive developments like new roads, construction, and increased cycling infrastructure provide convenience for individuals commuting to work and for community buildings.

For example

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, expanding roads can reduce traffic congestion.

Moreover

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, an increase in public transport options,

such

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as buses, will help students and workers reach their destinations more quickly and safely.

To conclude

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while

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opinions may vary, I believe that investing in public services provides practical benefits.

shahobhozratkulovMon Aug 12 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively and provide more detailed explanations to make your arguments clearer.

relevant specific examples

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. It can strengthen your argument and demonstrate your ability to provide evidence-based reasoning.

complete response

The essay provides a balanced discussion of the topic, considering both perspectives and concluding with a clear opinion.

logical structure

The logical structure of the essay is maintained well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

supported main points

The main points of the essay are supported adequately, making the overall argument coherent.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
economic stimulation
social cohesion
community building
public well-being
basic needs
infrastructure development
comprehensive development
cultural vitality
practical benefits

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Some people believe that governments should spend money on the arts. Others assert that this money should be used to improve public services and infrastructure.

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