The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address those problems?
These days, the
richer
and Correct word choice
rich
poorer
have Correct word choice
the poor
wide
Add an article
a wide
different
gap, the rich always become richer Correct word choice
apply
while
poorer people
grow poorer. This
situation leads an effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
such
as rising unemployement
and opening an even distribution job is one of the solutions to tackle it.
The huge gap between wealthy and poor Correct your spelling
unemployment
people
could make
the rate of Verb problem
cause
jobless
is Replace the word
joblessness
increasing
. Many high school and college graduates find it difficult to Wrong verb form
increase
have
a proper job since their networking Verb problem
find
are
not as much as Change the verb form
is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
rich
Change preposition
of rich
people
. For example
, recent
study shows that having big relations Add an article
a recent
are
the most important Correct subject-verb agreement
is
things
to easily get a job.
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
However
, there is a solution that could be done such
as opening the same jobs for everyone. It means that even people
without many experiences or status can give an actual career for themselves. Furthermore
, working in companies might get them new sources of income that could be good for fulfilling their needs. For example
, citizens in Taiwan have equal access and salaries based on their positions. Everyone in this
country can have a work
Remove the article
work
a job
with
Change preposition
at
entry level
even though they never had internships or simple Add a hyphen
entry-level
works
.
In conclusion, a Fix the agreement mistake
work
wealthy
gap in our world makes Replace the word
wealth
people
hardly find new jobs, but it could be solved by not limiting requirements.Submitted by ieltswriting91 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates directly to the task question. Aim to develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details that expand on your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on crafting clearer introduction and conclusion paragraphs. These should establish the context and restate the main ideas, respectively. Make sure they summarize your stance and the content of the essay effectively.
Task Achievement
Be careful to address all parts of the task. Your essay should cover the problems caused by the wealth gap as well as detailed solutions. Make sure your response is complete and fully developed in line with the question.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific examples to support your arguments. Referencing studies or statistics can help make your points stronger and more compelling.
Task Achievement
Avoid general statements and strive to provide clear, comprehensive ideas that answer the prompt directly and thoroughly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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