It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages?

Taking
risks
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
a significant role in
people
’s both professional and private lives.
Although
this
approach can lead
people
to harmful consequences, it can
also
bring them success. Taking some
risks
leads
people
to step out of their comfort zone.
As a result
, they will be able to seize new opportunities and chances which may be lost/missed normally.
For instance
, emigration is a risky decision as
people
have no clear outlook on it, but when they emigrate, they will find a variety of jobs which were not
able
Correct word choice
possible
show examples
in their country because of economic problems or since their payments were not fair.
In addition
, even if they cannot succeed, they will Learn from setbacks/ failures. Actually,
this
new wealth of experience will lead them to success in their
future’s
Change noun form
future
show examples
decisions. I believe that being sad for doing something wrong is better than being sad for doing nothing.
However
, taking
risks
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
has several drawbacks for
people
,
such
as putting their personal health in danger. Facing new occasions in life,
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
which
people
have no control, can cause high levels of stress and anxiety.
Nevertheless
, in my opinion, life is always full of pressure whether
people
take
risks
or not.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
moreover
, taking
risks
and unsuccessful efforts waste
people
’s time and resources,
such
as risky financial decisions which may
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to significant financial losses.
To sum up
, there are several pros and cons
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
taking
risks
. In some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases, it can
cause
Verb problem
apply
show examples
wase
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
one’s time, energy and
recourses
Correct your spelling
resources
show examples
, but it
worth
Add a missing verb
is worth
show examples
it as it gives
people
new opportunities, even if
people
are forced to tolerate high levels of stress.
Submitted by Raeisinarges1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but needs to be developed further to provide a more nuanced discussion. Address the balance of advantages and disadvantages and offer insights in the conclusion to more accurately reflect on whether risks are worth taking.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, there are several grammatical errors and inappropriate word choices that hinder clarity. Focus on improving the accuracy of language and maintaining coherence throughout.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: