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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Whilst certain
people
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 contend the notion that in order to make
people
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 healthier, the
number
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 of
sports
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 amenities should be increased,
others
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 refuse to settle with
this
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 proposal as they have gravitated towards the effectiveness of other alternatives
such
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 as raising awareness and diet control measures. In my view, boosting public health is a multifaceted phenomenon with a negligible correlation between the
number
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 of
sports
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 activities. First and foremost,
according to
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 some
people
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, opening new
sports
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 centres will influence
people
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 to commence closely engaging in
sports
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 activities. Constructive competition has always been in the centre of gravity for those who are rigorously motivated by the actions of
others
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. Interestingly,
this
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 type of person does not display any sign of interest whatsoever unless their comfort gets challenged by
others
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.
In addition
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 to that nowadays Governments are installing
sports
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 equipment around the neighbourhoods and parks to catch public attention and bring them one step closer to an athletic life. To give an example, during the early mornings, the
number
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 of
people
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 who visit those facilities for training has increased exponentially, resulting in switch of a mindset among
people
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 that were once the victims of obesity.
On the other hand
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, a majority of
people
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 still will not participate in
sports
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 events
due to
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 the fact that they are not easily motivated by observing the physical success of
others
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. It is worth noting that these
people
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 can solely be activated by the continuous bombardment of scientific facts and proof in regard to their physical well-being.
Moreover
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, contracting strict diets is
also
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 a prudent way of cultivating a healthier lifestyle.
For instance
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, some
people
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 have hectic schedules and
consequently
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, fall short of completing their workouts in the gym.
Therefore
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, a balancing and nutritious diet is perhaps the most efficient method to keep their bodies in ideal shape. In conclusion,
while
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 the rise in the
number
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 of recently established
sports
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 areas pushes
people
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 with a strong mentality to work out,
people
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 with less determination are being alienated. In
this
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 regard, other proven methodologies like pursuing diets and conducting investigations play a salient role in refining public health.

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introduction conclusion present
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logical structure
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supported main points
Develop main points with more specific evidence and examples to support the arguments made.
complete response
Provide a fully developed response to all parts of the task, including a balanced discussion and a clear opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
Use specific examples that precisely support the points being made and are directly relevant to the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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