In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In recent years, some people
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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of the opinion that young individuals in some nations are recommended to engage in a career position or take trips after they finish their secondary education. There are a few opponents who claim that taking a gap year might bring young people certain benefits despite the presence of detrimental demerits.
This
essay will discuss the merits and the shortages of
this
trend in young populations. First and foremost, taking a one-year gap allows young individuals to encapsulate all their things before encountering
university
. What I mean by
this
is that it is tremendously crucial to be on leave and unwind their minds before commencing a stressful
university
period. During the off-school days, adolescents can immerse themselves in travelling
,
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apply
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or even working. Not only does it help them to maximise the opportunities to learn from their surroundings but
also
allows them to mitigate their mental and physical conundrums.
For instance
, if young learners take a trip to a foreign country, they can spend their
time
learning about various diversity of its culture. It is
also
a beneficial way to gain new knowledge with practical experiences. In reverse, there are a few drawbacks that might be exerted. Since young people are passionate about exploring the outside world;
therefore
, they have the tendency to ignore what they have planned to do after graduating from high school. It is common to see that many young learners are
unconscious
Correct word choice
unaware
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about
Change preposition
of
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preparing for their tertiary education.
This
means that they postpone the application progress as they believe it is not a momentous deal at that moment.
Consequently
, they might miss the opportunities to get their name written down for their desired institutions.
Moreover
, it is prudent to take their
time
to revise and prepare their background knowledge before school commence. Since they utilize their precious
time
for travelling and working;
therefore
, they might trigger stagnation in their academic journey. As a ramification, most young individuals nowadays forget what they have learned about their course-related knowledge before they enter their major. In a nutshell, everything can be recapitulated into the fact that
although
taking a year gap benefits young populations as it provides them with a comfortable warm-up before
university
, utilizing
time
discerningly for revising and preparing for
university
is
also
pivotal.
To obtain
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Obtain
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a balance,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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requires students to thoughtfully weigh up these two and make a wise decision.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction provides a clear statement on the topic and outlines what the essay will cover. The conclusion should summarise the key points discussed.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Make certain that each paragraph has a main idea, supported by relevant explanations and examples. Avoid general statements.
task achievement
Address the task by ensuring that your essay equally discusses both the advantages and disadvantages in depth.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully by giving detailed reasons and clear examples. Make sure to delve deeper into each advantage and disadvantage rather than only scratching the surface.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. These examples help to illustrate your arguments more vividly and make your essay more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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