In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In recent years, some people

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

of the opinion that young individuals in some nations are recommended to engage in a career position or take trips after they finish their secondary education. There are a few opponents who claim that taking a gap year might bring young people certain benefits despite the presence of detrimental demerits.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the merits and the shortages of

this

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trend in young populations. First and foremost, taking a one-year gap allows young individuals to encapsulate all their things before encountering

university

Use synonyms

. What I mean by

this

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is that it is tremendously crucial to be on leave and unwind their minds before commencing a stressful

university

Use synonyms

period. During the off-school days, adolescents can immerse themselves in travelling

Remove the comma

apply

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or even working. Not only does it help them to maximise the opportunities to learn from their surroundings but

also

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allows them to mitigate their mental and physical conundrums.

For instance

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, if young learners take a trip to a foreign country, they can spend their

time

Use synonyms

learning about various diversity of its culture. It is

also

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a beneficial way to gain new knowledge with practical experiences. In reverse, there are a few drawbacks that might be exerted. Since young people are passionate about exploring the outside world;

therefore

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, they have the tendency to ignore what they have planned to do after graduating from high school. It is common to see that many young learners are

unconscious

Correct word choice

unaware

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about

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preparing for their tertiary education.

This

Linking Words

means that they postpone the application progress as they believe it is not a momentous deal at that moment.

Consequently

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, they might miss the opportunities to get their name written down for their desired institutions.

Moreover

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, it is prudent to take their

time

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to revise and prepare their background knowledge before school commence. Since they utilize their precious

time

Use synonyms

for travelling and working;

therefore

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, they might trigger stagnation in their academic journey. As a ramification, most young individuals nowadays forget what they have learned about their course-related knowledge before they enter their major. In a nutshell, everything can be recapitulated into the fact that

although

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taking a year gap benefits young populations as it provides them with a comfortable warm-up before

university

Use synonyms

, utilizing

time

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discerningly for revising and preparing for

university

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also

Linking Words

pivotal.

To obtain

Fix the infinitive

Obtain

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a balance,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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requires students to thoughtfully weigh up these two and make a wise decision.

thinhatvypham127

Jan 16, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction provides a clear statement on the topic and outlines what the essay will cover. The conclusion should summarise the key points discussed.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating better transitions between paragraphs to ensure smoother flow and logical progression of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Make certain that each paragraph has a main idea, supported by relevant explanations and examples. Avoid general statements.

task achievement

Address the task by ensuring that your essay equally discusses both the advantages and disadvantages in depth.

task achievement

Develop your ideas fully by giving detailed reasons and clear examples. Make sure to delve deeper into each advantage and disadvantage rather than only scratching the surface.

task achievement

Include specific examples to support your points. These examples help to illustrate your arguments more vividly and make your essay more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

399 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernise, old buildings are demolished and replaced with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old buildings? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

You’re visiting a town where you once worked. Write to a friend you worked with there. Include the following in your letter: Tell your friend about your life now Give him/her details of your visit Arrange how you can meet.

With a growing population one of the most pressing issues is that of feeding such a large number of people. Some people think that GM foods offer a viable solution to this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?