Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children while others think parents need not to do that as children can read books, watch tV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #stories #children #books #tv #movies

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The research found that bedtime reading sessions are one of the crucial ways to bond with

children

, especially during pre-teen age,

while

also

enhancing their cognitive development.

However

, some people oppose

this

statement as they argue that

children

can do it individually without their parent's help and guidance.

This

essay will discuss the reason behind both arguments and why I side with the former. On one hand, when

children

are given the liberty to choose their leisure activities, namely watching TV, movies, or reading books, they tend to be more creative and decisive as they will seek the entertainment of their preferences.

For instance

, adolescents are more advanced when it comes to technology and trends, but they are hindered because their parents are unable to provide it.

As a result

, they prefer to explore any fun activities by themselves.

Nonetheless

, parents who are directly involved in the

children

's activity and actively read them books relatively have a stronger emotional link to their sons and daughters, which will be beneficial for their emotional intelligence development in the future.

For example

, parents will have the freedom to look closely at their toddler's behaviour when they spend time together to read books together.

Thus

, later on, the little ones will be able to convey their emotions and feel understood by their guardians, just because of

this

small routine of story-telling and quality time. In conclusion, the benefits of

children

's individual exploration have underwhelming impacts compared to the well-established emotional intelligence from direct parental guidance during

children

's leisure time.

Finally

parents-

Replace the word

parent-child

show examples

children

bonds from direct story-telling offset the liberty of

children

to pick their own activity.

Submitted by pink panther on Tue Jan 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction/Conclusion

Ensure that you have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarises your main points effectively. Your essay has these elements, but they could be more concise and impactful.

Logical Structure

Work on logical structuring by organizing your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should clearly focus on one main idea with supporting sentences that are directly related.

Examples

Include more concrete examples to support your arguments. The examples provided are somewhat generic and could be replaced with specific, relevant, personalised scenarios or studies to add weight to your points.

Task Response

Make sure to address the task prompt fully. While your essay discusses both views and provides an opinion, ensure that your opinion is clearly stated and well-supported throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.

Coherence

To improve coherence, use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to better connect ideas and paragraphs. Avoid repeating the same phrases and ensure smooth flow of ideas throughout.

Cohesion

For cohesion within paragraphs, each sentence should clearly follow from the one before it. Use clear referencing and pronouns to maintain continuity of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Storytelling
Linguistic skills
Bonding
Cultural values
Pronunciation
Comprehension
Literacy habits
Visually inclined
Vivid imagery
Educational programs
Digital formats
Autonomy
Critical thinking
Interpret and engage

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
You have recently attended a job interview and have been offered the job. Write a letter to the company accepting the job offer, and provide details about when you will be able to start and any other information you think they may need.
Thank you for taking the time to schedule a meeting with me yesterday. I enjoyed our conversation about the Data Analyst position and appreciated the information about my team.
7
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Based on the research done, the researchers concluded that learning a second language is more suitable and effective for students at the primary level compared to middle school. I completely agree with this, and I think that the benefits of learning a new language in elementary school will be much greater than in middle school.
6
band
Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think that actions can be taken to bring the change. Discuss both views and give your opnion.
For centuries, human activity had several negative impacts on plants and animals on plants around the world. Some people argue that these behaviours have not changed. While others say, actions can be changed by humans. In my opinion, I believe humans can change many attitudes to save these creatures. In this essay, I will explore two views of people and then insert my perspective view.
7
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A group of individuals presents the view that the disappearance of specific animal and plant species is today's most pressing environmental issue, whereas others believe there are more serious environmental issues.
4.5
band
Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. What metal and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games? How could these problems be reduced?
Nowadays, a number of doctors and specialists claim that use of computer games is on the raise in this era, leading to many mental and physical problems. this is noticeable concern for new generations. This essay will examine the problems which may arise using computer games and some possible solutions.

Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children while others think parents need not to do that as children can read books, watch tV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

You have recently attended a job interview and have been offered the job. Write a letter to the company accepting the job offer, and provide details about when you will be able to start and any other information you think they may need.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think that actions can be taken to bring the change. Discuss both views and give your opnion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. What metal and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games? How could these problems be reduced?