Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children while others think parents need not to do that as children can read books, watch tV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The research found that bedtime reading sessions are one of the crucial ways to bond with
children
, especially during pre-teen age, while
also
enhancing their cognitive development. However
, some people oppose this
statement as they argue that children
can do it individually without their parent's help and guidance. This
essay will discuss the reason behind both arguments and why I side with the former.
On one hand, when children
are given the liberty to choose their leisure activities, namely watching TV, movies, or reading books, they tend to be more creative and decisive as they will seek the entertainment of their preferences. For instance
, adolescents are more advanced when it comes to technology and trends, but they are hindered because their parents are unable to provide it. As a result
, they prefer to explore any fun activities by themselves.
Nonetheless
, parents who are directly involved in the children
's activity and actively read them books relatively have a stronger emotional link to their sons and daughters, which will be beneficial for their emotional intelligence development in the future. For example
, parents will have the freedom to look closely at their toddler's behaviour when they spend time together to read books together. Thus
, later on, the little ones will be able to convey their emotions and feel understood by their guardians, just because of this
small routine of story-telling and quality time.
In conclusion, the benefits of children
's individual exploration have underwhelming impacts compared to the well-established emotional intelligence from direct parental guidance during children
's leisure time. Finally
, parents-
Replace the word
parent-child
children
bonds from direct story-telling offset the liberty of children
to pick their own activity.Submitted by pink panther on
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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure that you have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarises your main points effectively. Your essay has these elements, but they could be more concise and impactful.
Logical Structure
Work on logical structuring by organizing your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should clearly focus on one main idea with supporting sentences that are directly related.
Examples
Include more concrete examples to support your arguments. The examples provided are somewhat generic and could be replaced with specific, relevant, personalised scenarios or studies to add weight to your points.
Task Response
Make sure to address the task prompt fully. While your essay discusses both views and provides an opinion, ensure that your opinion is clearly stated and well-supported throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
Coherence
To improve coherence, use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to better connect ideas and paragraphs. Avoid repeating the same phrases and ensure smooth flow of ideas throughout.
Cohesion
For cohesion within paragraphs, each sentence should clearly follow from the one before it. Use clear referencing and pronouns to maintain continuity of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.