Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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More and more people are currently exploiting non-traditional methods to treat their

health

Use synonyms

-related illnesses despite access to more professional medical services. The following essay will discuss the detrimental effects

this

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trend may impose on public

health

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and provide examples of healer’s practices and the placebo effect of

supplements

Use synonyms

. For centuries countless cultures consulted with so-called shamans or healers whenever they experienced

health

Use synonyms

issues before the age of the medicinal revolution. Those individuals were more respected and trusted in the public eye and maintained their social status until the modern days.

However

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, these trusted “doctors” usually don’t hold specific medical degrees and

thus

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can exacerbate the conditions of the patient.

For instance

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, some illnesses demonstrate only slight symptoms during the first stage of infection and a medically uneducated or trained healer would make wrong assumptions about the actual treatment.

As a result

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, a person who only showed mild symptoms will die without appropriate medicine and probably surgical procedures. Another harmful example in

this

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topic would be dietary

supplements

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that have recently infected our society and

health

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industry in the

last

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50 years.

Initially

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, during their introduction, they have been advertised as the best way to improve your immune system and

overall

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well-being.

Nevertheless

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, many studies have shown their negative impact on the human body and it has even been proved that

supplements

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can cause cancer after a long period of application.

For instance

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, dozens of parents were convinced that their children were in need of taking additional calcium

supplements

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to ensure better bone structure. Following that, those parents were feeding their offspring with

this

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particular pill not knowing the negative consequences of their parental actions.

As a result

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, overconsumption of calcium contributed to and was the main source of the development of bone cancer

according to

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recent studies. In conclusion, there are plenty of reasons people may find for using non-traditional medicine.

Nonetheless

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, in my opinion, the usage of not professional treatment especially for self-diagnosed diseases can have a detrimental serious impact on your

health

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as in the case of healer practices and misleading dietary supplementary pills.

Submitted by 6atb8k on Sat Mar 02 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure a balanced discussion when the question asks for your opinion on whether something is a positive or negative development. Consider briefly addressing both sides to provide a more nuanced perspective, even if your conclusion leans one way.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence, use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas, paragraphs, and sections of your text more smoothly. This can include synonyms, pronouns for referencing, conjunctions, and discourse markers.

Coherence & Cohesion

In your introduction and conclusion, make your thesis statement more prominent and clear. State your main argument explicitly to guide the reader through your essay and reiterate it in the conclusion for emphasis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

346 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Should humans adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent?

Some people believe that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others believe that they should start school at a later age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.