Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this ? How can this problem be overcome?

#people #balance #work #parts #lives

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this

Linking Words

fast-paced world, work has become a priority over other

aspects

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

an enormous amount of people.

As a consequence

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, maintaining

work-

Correct article usage

a work-life

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life

Use synonyms

balance has become a relatively tough factor. There are several reasons associated with

this

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new norm and, in my opinion, prioritizing personal

life

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and its significant

aspects

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will aid

into

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show examples

a comprehensive solution. All the big business firms have normalised working

over-time

Correct your spelling

overtime

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and bonus pay,

hence

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, people are rushing towards working more rather than paying attention to their personal necessities. Monetary

aspects

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play a huge role

for

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show examples

such

Linking Words

type

Correct article usage

a type

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of movement. These types of people regard

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

earning more money means living

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

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and quality

life

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Hence

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, to achieve

such

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notion

Correct article usage

a notion

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they forget to pay heed to their own valuable

aspects

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lives

Correct pronoun usage

their lives

show examples

For instance

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12 hour

Add a hyphen

12-hour

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/day working

shift

Fix the agreement mistake

shifts

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has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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become common among workers and, to gain more perks , they are going far beyond working 13-

14 hour

Add a hyphen

14-hour

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/day

shift

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shifts

show examples

which in turn

influencing

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influences

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not only bad habits but

also

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deteriorating

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deteriorates

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their health qualities. A significant step towards mitigating

this

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norm is to

prioritising

Wrong verb form

prioritise

show examples

boundaries between personal and professional

life

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necessities. Realizing self-worth and

self-nessecities

Correct your spelling

self-necessities

are

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show examples

utmost

Change preposition

of utmost

show examples

important

Replace the word

importance

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and

also

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by understanding the

limit

Replace the word

limited

show examples

perspective of anything in

life

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. The notion "more will always be more" holds true ,

however

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, "less is more" is very much effective healthwise.

Thence

Correct your spelling

Therefore

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, providing more significant attention towards health will not subtract any

aspects

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life

Use synonyms

rather than aid

into

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show examples

gaining more years of joy. In conclusion, understanding the

limit

Fix the agreement mistake

limits

show examples

of work and

life

Use synonyms

aspects

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will enhance management qualities between these two

among

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apply

show examples

individuals, fostering a more comprehensive solution. As a suggestion, the government must spread awareness among workers and create more quality policies for workers to enrich their work-

life

Use synonyms

balance, ensuring a vibrant work culture in the region.

Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on Tue Jan 16 2024

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Task Achievement: The essay addresses the topic but could provide a deeper analysis and more specific solutions to the problems discussed. It is essential to fully expand on the ideas presented and to use a wider range of vocabulary to convey precise meanings.

Coherence and Cohesion: While the essay has a clear overall progression, transitions could be improved for smoother readability. Introduce a range of cohesive devices to bind the essay together more effectively. Also, ensure that paragraphing is clear and the essay has a logical organization of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Expand vocabulary range to include more sophisticated and topic-specific language. Avoid repetition of certain words and phrases to enhance lexical variety and demonstrate a wider vocabulary.

GRA

Grammar Range and Accuracy: Use a variety of complex sentence structures with accurate grammar. There are a few instances where simpler sentences could be combined or complex constructions could be used for a higher score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this ? How can this problem be overcome?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it has a positive impact. Discuss both views.

Many countries offer a free health care system to their citizens rather than relying on private health care. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a free system, and give your opinion.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain answer.