Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this ? How can this problem be overcome?
In
this
fast-paced world, work has become a priority over other aspects
of life
to
an enormous amount of people. Change preposition
for
As a consequence
, maintaining work-
Correct article usage
a work-life
life
balance has become a relatively tough factor. There are several reasons associated with this
new norm and, in my opinion, prioritizing personal life
and its significant aspects
will aid into
a comprehensive solution.
All the big business firms have normalised working Change preposition
in
over-time
and bonus pay, Correct your spelling
overtime
hence
, people are rushing towards working more rather than paying attention to their personal necessities. Monetary aspects
play a huge role for
Change preposition
in
such
type
of movement. These types of people regard Correct article usage
a type
that
earning more money means living Correct word choice
apply
healthy
and quality Correct article usage
a healthy
life
. Hence
, to achieve such
notion
they forget to pay heed to their own valuable Correct article usage
a notion
aspects
of lives
. Correct pronoun usage
their lives
For instance
, 12 hour
/day working Add a hyphen
12-hour
shift
Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
has
become common among workers and, to gain more perks , they are going far beyond working 13-Correct subject-verb agreement
have
14 hour
/day Add a hyphen
14-hour
shift
which in turn Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
influencing
not only bad habits but Change the form of the verb
influences
also
deteriorating
their health qualities.
A significant step towards mitigating Wrong verb form
deteriorates
this
norm is to prioritising
boundaries between personal and professional Wrong verb form
prioritise
life
necessities. Realizing self-worth and self-nessecities
Correct your spelling
self-necessities
are
Change the verb form
is
utmost
Change preposition
of utmost
important
and Replace the word
importance
also
by understanding the limit
perspective of anything in Replace the word
limited
life
. The notion "more will always be more" holds true , however
, "less is more" is very much effective healthwise. Thence
, providing more significant attention towards health will not subtract any Correct your spelling
Therefore
aspects
of life
rather than aid into
gaining more years of joy.
In conclusion, understanding the Change preposition
in
limit
of work and Fix the agreement mistake
limits
life
aspects
will enhance management qualities between these two among
individuals, fostering a more comprehensive solution. As a suggestion, the government must spread awareness among workers and create more quality policies for workers to enrich their work-Change preposition
apply
life
balance, ensuring a vibrant work culture in the region.Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on
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TA
Task Achievement: The essay addresses the topic but could provide a deeper analysis and more specific solutions to the problems discussed. It is essential to fully expand on the ideas presented and to use a wider range of vocabulary to convey precise meanings.
CC
Coherence and Cohesion: While the essay has a clear overall progression, transitions could be improved for smoother readability. Introduce a range of cohesive devices to bind the essay together more effectively. Also, ensure that paragraphing is clear and the essay has a logical organization of ideas.
LR
Lexical Resource: Expand vocabulary range to include more sophisticated and topic-specific language. Avoid repetition of certain words and phrases to enhance lexical variety and demonstrate a wider vocabulary.
GRA
Grammar Range and Accuracy: Use a variety of complex sentence structures with accurate grammar. There are a few instances where simpler sentences could be combined or complex constructions could be used for a higher score.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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