IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foregin language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advanantages of this outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include some relevant examples.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The discussion of foreign
language
Use synonyms
 learning at the elementary school level has been an enticing topic for certain scholars because they argue that primary school is the best time to commence
language
Use synonyms
 learning. Even though it might enforce
children
Use synonyms
's interests, I believe there are other beneficial points. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore
further
Linking Words
 why the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the notable disadvantage of the presented topic is that schools indirectly impose
children
Use synonyms
's interest in learning,
whereas
Linking Words
 learning anything, particularly a foreign
language
Use synonyms
, requires students' willingness. It is because not all of them are appealed to learning a
language
Use synonyms
, so
this
Linking Words
 becomes a serious concern. If the stakeholders,
for example
Linking Words
, force
children
Use synonyms
 to do so, they might be burnt out or dull during the class.
Consequently
Linking Words
, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is not challenging anymore for them, but
this
Linking Words
 can be reduced by setting fun activities in the classroom.
However
Linking Words
, it cannot be denied that the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 fact are more than one and
this
Linking Words
 can be fruitful for
children
Use synonyms
's future.
First,
Linking Words
learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 earlier is able to broaden students' horizons regarding other cultures across the world, so they will be more respectful of each other.
For instance
Linking Words
, my cousin has learned English for above 10 years, starting from elementary school. Now, he can respect people from varied nations and backgrounds. The second benefit of mastering a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 as early as possible is opening numerous job opportunities for future lives. When
children
Use synonyms
 have a chance to improve their foreign
language
Use synonyms
 skills, at the same time, they might be fluent in certain languages
while
Linking Words
 becoming adults, which means that they can apply for any job applications later around the world.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the notion of bringing a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 as a compulsory subject at elementary schools is acceptable since
this
Linking Words
 prepares
children
Use synonyms
 to respect others and opens many chances for their future,
although
Linking Words
 it might influence their learning interests. Personally, the positive points outweigh the detrimental ones.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a generally clear logical structure, but transitions between some ideas could be smoother. Using a wider range of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences can help improve logical flow from one point to another.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and perform their functions adequately. However, strive for a more impactful conclusion that reiterates your main points and provides a clear final thought on the topic.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are supported, some arguments need to be developed further with detailed explanations and specific real-life examples. Try to incorporate more evidence and varied illustrations to bolster your points.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task, but some parts of the question are not fully developed. Make sure to equally weigh the advantages and disadvantages in your discussion, categorically addressing each part of the prompt.
task achievement
The ideas are clear and reasonably well-explained. However, some areas lack comprehensive detail, which can leave the reader wanting more information. Aim to fully develop your ideas and delve deeply into the complexities of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples is relevant, but they are quite limited and simplistic. Make sure to include a range of detailed and specific examples to substantiate your points and showcase your understanding of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: