IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of remote work.

#work
In
this
 ultra-modern world, That digital marketing is impressing the employee's lives around the world, working from distance is a normal way of work. On
this
 essay, I'm going to discuss both advantages and disadvantages of remote working.
To begin
 with, There are many benefits and advantages for remote jobs; Especially for introverts. To exemplify
this
 statement, They can control their job's time and it can be very easy to manage.
Secondly
, They do their job from wherever they want
Such
 as library, home and coffee shops.
Furthermore
, I personally think it can be very innovative for them. Entrepreneurs love
this
 method.
For example
, Apple company let its employees to manage organization's projects from home or other places and it does not expect them to be at company.
Conversely
, There are lots of disadvantages for
this
 method too. Owing to
this
, It can be very harmful and cause many problems.
For example
, They only connected to each other in digital world and they don't see anyone in person.
Moreover
, Extroverts want to communicate with other people and
this
 type of job may harm their feelings.They will suffer
this
 way and they can affected by mental illnesses
such
 as depression. And Eventually, The most important drawback is they may lose their concentration
To sum up
, There are strong arguments on both sides. I as an industrial-organizational psychologist think that the potential benefits outnumber the drawbacks with regard to
this
 innovation.
However
, individuals who obtain advantages the most might know how to adapt to align with their lifestyle.
Submitted by alikiadaah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the topic of discussion. A statement like 'remote work has become increasingly common' would be more effective.
coherence cohesion
Work on making smoother transitions between points to improve the logical flow. Use linkers and connectors to make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your points. For instance, elaborate on how remote work can be innovative rather than just stating it.
task achievement
Avoid repetition by rephrasing ideas in different parts of the essay. This helps in making your essay more engaging and less redundant.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of remote work.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments and gives a personal opinion backed by your expertise, which is beneficial.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Flexible schedule
  • Work-life balance
  • Remote work
  • Telecommuting
  • Productivity
  • Office distractions
  • Commuting costs
  • Utility costs
  • Isolation
  • Social interaction
  • Team dynamics
  • Work from home
  • Burnout
  • Collaboration
  • Misunderstandings
  • Time management
  • Digital communication tools
  • Cost-effective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: