Some people believe that the government should provide financial assistance to artists (such as painters and musicians) to encourage the development of arts, while others argue that this is a waste of money that could be better spent elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In these modern days, arts have become a crucial part
in
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of
show examples
everyone's life, especially in the entertainment
industry
. There is an ongoing debate
whether
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about whether
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should spend more money to encourage the development of
art
or
elsewhere
. Some
people
believe that it is beneficial to provide financial support to artists,
such
as painters, musicians and
film-makers
Correct your spelling
filmmakers
show examples
,
while
I partly agree with
this
view. Nowadays, the development of
art
is becoming different from the past,
people
are willing to pay money to artists for their pieces or shows. Recently, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
a trend of singers or bands getting more attraction from
public
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the public
show examples
, they will organize world
tours
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tour
show examples
concerts
such
as Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran and Blackpink. They seemingly want to let their fans have more opportunities to experience their live performances, but they are
also
earning money from the tickets. Many countries are welcoming them to their places for collaboration to gain more attention around the world and boost
up
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apply
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their
economy
.
Therefore
,
government
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the government
show examples
should invest in some talented artists to help them create a better platform for themselves. It is a way to achieve win-win situations
,
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apply
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because their popularity will increase our reputation in the stage of the world. Investing in arts can
also
foster creativity and innovation, contributing to a more vibrant cultural scene,
this
will attract tourists, boost the local
economy
and enhance the nation's image internationally.
In contrast
, a part of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
reckon that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should assist other
industries
including infrastructure, health care and education, they believe these fields are more important than
art
. Other
industries
need to develop as well so that
people
's living standards are getting better.
For instance
, education serves as a gateway to society, everyone needs to receive compulsory education for at least 11 years to get their certificates and gain knowledge that will be useful in future. In the healthcare
industry
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
could give financial assistance so that patients do not need to cover
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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their medical expenses and reduce their burden.
Besides
, the development of infrastructure and technology must be emphasized, it will provide more opportunities and increase
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
among
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in
show examples
that area. Technology
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
become vital in today's societies, if our
country
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
more effort
in
Change preposition
into
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this
industry
, our
country
may have chances to collaborate with other nations and lead us to a brighter future.
Consequently
,
people
can have a better life without financial pressure. Taking everything into a nutshell,
although
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
industry
should be developed, particularly improve our
country
's
economy
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I personally believe other
industries
are important as well. Both sides of opinions are understandable,
government
should support all
industries
to achieve a balanced situation to raise the
country
's standards.
Submitted by sientan04 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear distinction between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the topic and the writer's opinion, while the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to manage the organization of ideas. Transition words such as 'furthermore', 'however', and 'consequently' can guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Support main ideas with a variety of specific examples and explanations. Examples should be relevant and illustrate the point being made, but they also need to be fully explored and not just mentioned in passing.
task achievement
Address the task prompt fully by discussing both views and giving a reasoned opinion. Ensure that the essay responds completely to all parts of the question and provides a balanced view before stating your own perspective.
task achievement
Ideas should be clear and developed comprehensively with detailed explanations. Aim for depth over breadth; each paragraph should thoroughly explore a single idea or aspect of the topic.
task achievement
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to articulate ideas more precisely and effectively. Doing so will help in expressing complex ideas with clarity and avoid repetitiveness.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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