Some people believe that the government should provide financial assistance to artists (such as painters and musicians) to encourage the development of arts, while others argue that this is a waste of money that could be better spent elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In these modern days, arts have become a crucial part
in
everyone's life, especially in the entertainment Change preposition
of
industry
. There is an ongoing debate whether
Change preposition
about whether
government
should spend more money to encourage the development of Add an article
the government
art
or elsewhere
. Some people
believe that it is beneficial to provide financial support to artists, such
as painters, musicians and film-makers
, Correct your spelling
filmmakers
while
I partly agree with this
view.
Nowadays, the development of art
is becoming different from the past, people
are willing to pay money to artists for their pieces or shows. Recently, there is
a trend of singers or bands getting more attraction from Wrong verb form
has been
public
, they will organize world Add an article
the public
tours
concerts Change the noun form
tour
such
as Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran and Blackpink. They seemingly want to let their fans have more opportunities to experience their live performances, but they are also
earning money from the tickets. Many countries are welcoming them to their places for collaboration to gain more attention around the world and boost up
their Change preposition
apply
economy
. Therefore
, government
should invest in some talented artists to help them create a better platform for themselves. It is a way to achieve win-win situationsAdd an article
the government
,
because their popularity will increase our reputation in the stage of the world. Investing in arts can Remove the comma
apply
also
foster creativity and innovation, contributing to a more vibrant cultural scene, this
will attract tourists, boost the local economy
and enhance the nation's image internationally.
In contrast
, a part of population
reckon that Correct article usage
the population
government
should assist other Correct article usage
the government
industries
including infrastructure, health care and education, they believe these fields are more important than art
. Other industries
need to develop as well so that people
's living standards are getting better. For instance
, education serves as a gateway to society, everyone needs to receive compulsory education for at least 11 years to get their certificates and gain knowledge that will be useful in future. In the healthcare industry
, government
could give financial assistance so that patients do not need to cover Add an article
the government
much
their medical expenses and reduce their burden. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Besides
, the development of infrastructure and technology must be emphasized, it will provide more opportunities and increase economy
Correct article usage
the economy
among
that area. Technology Change preposition
in
had
become vital in today's societies, if our Wrong verb form
has
country
put
more effort Wrong verb form
puts
in
Change preposition
into
this
industry
, our country
may have chances to collaborate with other nations and lead us to a brighter future. Consequently
, people
can have a better life without financial pressure.
Taking everything into a nutshell, although
art
Correct article usage
the art
industry
should be developed, particularly improve our country
's economy
, but
I personally believe other Correct word choice
apply
industries
are important as well. Both sides of opinions are understandable, government
should support all industries
to achieve a balanced situation to raise the country
's standards.Submitted by sientan04 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear distinction between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the topic and the writer's opinion, while the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to manage the organization of ideas. Transition words such as 'furthermore', 'however', and 'consequently' can guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Support main ideas with a variety of specific examples and explanations. Examples should be relevant and illustrate the point being made, but they also need to be fully explored and not just mentioned in passing.
task achievement
Address the task prompt fully by discussing both views and giving a reasoned opinion. Ensure that the essay responds completely to all parts of the question and provides a balanced view before stating your own perspective.
task achievement
Ideas should be clear and developed comprehensively with detailed explanations. Aim for depth over breadth; each paragraph should thoroughly explore a single idea or aspect of the topic.
task achievement
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to articulate ideas more precisely and effectively. Doing so will help in expressing complex ideas with clarity and avoid repetitiveness.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.