Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What could be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem?
Metropolitan
areas
are increasingly grappling with a decline in residents
’ quality
of life. This
essay will examine the primary factors contributing to this
deterioration and propose potential solutions.
Several interrelated issues underlie the diminishing well-being of urban dwellers. Firstly
, the concentrated population in cities fosters intense competition for employment opportunities. This
hyper-competitive job market can lead to significant stress and mental health challenges among residents
. Secondly
, the environmental quality
of many metropolitan areas
has deteriorated due to
air pollution generated by vehicular traffic and industrial activities. This
has adverse health implications, particularly for respiratory systems. Lastly
, the escalating cost of living in urban centers
, encompassing housing, food, and transportation, poses a substantial financial burden on Change the spelling
centres
residents
, affecting their overall
quality
of life.
To address these challenges, a multifaceted approach is necessary. One critical step is to implement decentralized urban planning strategies that distribute economic activities and employment opportunities to secondary cities. This
approach, exemplified by Indonesia's development of suburban casinos, can alleviate population density and job market pressures in primary urban areas
. Additionally
, concerted efforts to reduce air pollution through the promotion of public transportation, the implementation of effective traffic management systems, and stricter regulations on emissions are imperative. Finally
, governments should establish living wage policies to ensure that residents
' income is commensurate with the cost of living.
In conclusion, the combination of population density, air pollution, and high living costs has significantly eroded the quality
of life in metropolitan areas
. By adopting a comprehensive strategy that includes urban decentralization, environmental protection, and economic policies that support residents
' well-being, it is possible to reverse this
trend and create more livable cities.Submitted by may.pattareepan on
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coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Ensure that the transitions between paragraphs are as smooth as possible to maintain flow.
task achievement
While most points are well-supported, avoid minor inaccuracies such as mentioning examples that might not be commonly recognized or appropriate in the context of the argument. For instance, it would be better to choose a more universally clear example rather than 'Indonesia's development of suburban casinos,' unless directly relevant to urban development.
task achievement
The essay addresses the given prompt thoroughly, analyzing both the reasons behind the decline in the quality of life in large cities and potential measures to address these issues.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with each paragraph building well on the previous one and contributing to a cohesive overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion frame the discussion effectively, providing a clear entry and closure to the essay.
task achievement
The main points are clearly stated and well-supported with relevant examples and arguments.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.