IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 9

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Incidents involving
traffic
Use synonyms
 factors are undeniably tragic,
thus
Linking Words
, recently has a debate arisen surrounding the strictness of punishments applied to
road
Use synonyms
 regulation violators. In
this
Linking Words
 essay shall I explore both of the perceptions beforehand coming to a conclusion. On the one hand, many individuals contend that strict punishments might help to encourage people to drive more safely. The main argument of proponents of
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint put forward is that penalties for drivers may act as a deterrent and reduce repeated offences. A clear example can be seen in Azerbaijan, the government have introduced tough penalties against high speed in order to diminish
road
Use synonyms
 collisions.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 reform has decreased dramatically the number of car crashes in the country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite tough punishments mitigating
traffic
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
, I claim that other precautions might play a vital role in developing
road
Use synonyms
 safety. One of the obvious reasons is that allocating more budget for
road
Use synonyms
 infrastructure improvements,
such
Linking Words
 as better lighting or as much as
road
Use synonyms
 signs can reduce
accidents
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, the more light the roads are, the safer they become.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Germany, there are greater lighted roads which contribute to safer driving conditions.
Further
Linking Words
 justification is that implementing some advanced
traffic
Use synonyms
 management technologies might lead to reduced
accidents
Use synonyms
. As an example, there are intelligent
traffic
Use synonyms
 lights and speed cameras which not only decrease the
road
Use synonyms
 collision rate but
also
Linking Words
 improve the safer driving environment in Japan. In conclusion, even though strict punishment prevents people from breaking
road
Use synonyms
 laws, I am of the opinion that better
traffic
Use synonyms
 infrastructure and using of technologies play a pivotal role in alleviating
accidents
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay provides a well-balanced discussion of both views, effectively integrating relevant examples from different countries.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear and logical, with each paragraph expanding on a distinct point of view.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, clearly indicating the essay's intent and summarizing the author's own opinion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: