The rise of social media has affected personal relations and society as a whole. Do the advantage of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages. (CN)
The development of social
media
has an impact on the relations and society of each people
. The writer of this
essay think
that the benefits of using social Change the verb form
thinks
media
for communication outweigh the drawbacks.
The foremost benefit of using social media
is that people
all around the world can contact each other easier
and more efficiently. Before the invention of technology like social Rephrase
more easily
media
, people
used to write letters to talk to another person at a far distance, but it took a long period for receivers to get the mail. However
, individuals can communicate more efficiently just by a few seconds to type and send, on the other side, receivers can get it within a second. Take a look at the COVID-19 pandemic, citizens were forbidden from going out by the local distancing rule, social media
played a vital role in bringing everyone together.
Another advantage of using social media
is that people
can update the newest information in
everywhere. On some social networking sites Change preposition
apply
such
as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram ..., there are
a lot of Change the verb form
is
page
that Change to a plural noun
pages
give
you a lot of information in Change the verb form
gives
a
every field in our life like sport, market, ... Everyone can read it and know what Remove the article
apply
are
happening at Change the verb form
is
this
moment, it can be useful for bussinessman
who need to know the price on the market, or for the broker who Correct your spelling
businessmen
businessman
need
to hold the information of the deal to introduce for their quests.
Change the verb form
needs
Nevertheless
, the disadvantage of communicating through social media
is experiencing a lack of face-to-face talk. Because of the innovation of smartphones, individuals can video call their relatives and friends, however
, if they rely on them too much, they could easily lose their relationships because they don’t have “physical interaction”. For instance
, if a company want to cooperate with other companies, they would have a meeting rather than sitting in a room and calling each other.
In conclusion, although
there are some drawbacks of
using social Change preposition
to
media
, the benefits of using social media
can help you gain more than lose.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a basic understanding of essay structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to improve, you could work on creating a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the advantages and disadvantages mentioned in the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and the logical structure can be improved. Try to organize your points more effectively, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details. Transitions between paragraphs could also be smoother to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your argument is generally on topic, but you could enhance task achievement by providing more relevant, specific examples to support your points. This would help in demonstrating a thorough understanding of the subject matter and increase the persuasive power of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and use a range of cohesive devices. This will not only improve the flow of your essay but also demonstrate your linguistic capabilities in creating a coherent and cohesive argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.