Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A group of individuals presents the view that increasing the number of
sports
facilities is an excellent way that results in boosting community
health
,
while
others believe that it is not the number of
such
facilities that determines the
health
level of society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and more significant factors should be taken into consideration. I find the latter opinion more acceptable, which will be discussed. On the one hand, some
people
justifiably argue that if the government is willing to enhance the well-being of our community, public awareness about the importance of being healthy should be raised. As it says, knowledge is power.
Thus
, understanding the consequences of following poor diets, obesity
for instance
, and pursuing a harmful
lifestyle
such
as staying up through the night,
people
are more likely to think twice change their mindset, and turn to a sensible
lifestyle
. In
this
regard,
for example
, creating TV shows and documentaries that provide
people
with valuable insights into the
health
risks associated with having a sedentary
lifestyle
or indulging in fatty foods can be taken into account.
On the other hand
, another group claims that when the number of
sports
facilities, gyms and swimming pools,
for instance
, rises,
people
are more likely to attend them because there is at least one within walking distance of their houses. They firmly insist that it is the distance from
sports
centres that hinders
people
from exercising on a regular basis.
However
, I do not find
this
argument convincing, as most cities nowadays benefit from reliable and frequent public transportation services, which facilitate getting around.
For example
, even in third-world countries like Iran, where we live,
people
who care about their
health
find it easy to use buses or trains to reach
sports
centres, exercise, and boost their physical stamina.
To conclude
, in my view, in order to enhance
people
's
health
levels,
instead
of building new
sports
centres, other measures that can be more efficient seem vital. I think raising public awareness about the importance of having a healthy
lifestyle
can be a wise solution.
Submitted by m.r.zamani1376678 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Maintain a consistent viewpoint throughout the essay to ensure task achievement. If introducing counterarguments, ensure they are thoroughly addressed to solidify your position.
coherence cohesion
Include a range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas. Make sure that the connection between main points and supporting information is always clear, which will lead to a more coherent expression of ideas.
task achievement
While some general examples were given, providing more specific, detailed examples would enhance your essay. This could increase the relevancy of the examples and support your main points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!