Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, the government should prioritise health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion

One school of thought holds that the government should take priority on
healthcare
issues when allocating
taxes
,
while
others are of the opinion that
this
resource should be leveraged wisely in considering other sectors.
This
essay will examine both viewpoints before concluding that I lean towards the latter. Admittedly, there are some compelling reasons why some advocate the belief that money collected from
taxes
should be spent on
health
care. The key rationale is that individuals are becoming more serious about their
health
problems and they deserve high-quality
healthcare
services for their contributions to the country. Since private
health
care might be unaffordable for households and public services might be overloaded, it reduces the accessibility of dwellers from rural areas to have their
health
check-ups frequently.
Therefore
, focusing on
healthcare
,
for example
, improving infirmaries in underprivileged areas and equipping up-to-date technologies
as well as
facilities in hospitals will make them be able to welcome more patients with different requirements.
As a result
, the general public could be healthier
due to
more accessible
healthcare
services and bring about a productive workforce for the country in the long term. Despite the aforementioned arguments, I side with those who assert that there are various crucial sectors that should be taken into consideration when the government leverages
taxes
. It is undeniable that education plays an important role in forming a potential and creative labour force that contributes to the development of a country. A well-educated generation can have high awareness about their
health
by being taught at schools or through national campaigns,
therefore
it could reduce the risk of suffering from illnesses.
For example
, obesity is on the increase but it might be avoidable if people can restrict the amount of unhealthy food consumption and follow a healthy routine, including exercising.
Furthermore
, the military is an essential sector that every nation prioritises since there are many scarce resources and lands being threatened.
Therefore
, ensuring a safe condition for its residents will be conducive to economic growth and maintaining its sovereignty as it is, contributing to a prosperous and strong nation. In conclusion,
although
I acknowledge that government spending on
healthcare
will confer upon the public a positive impact on their
health
, I am more convinced that the long-term benefits to a nation by allocating
taxes
on education and the military should not be underestimated.
Submitted by kkhanhnhitr0801 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay effectively covers both perspectives on the issue, it would benefit from even more specific examples or case studies to make the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Organize paragraphs with clear topic sentences that summarize the main point. This will further improve readability and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction that maps out what will be discussed, which sets a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.
logical structure
Each paragraph has a logical flow, strengthening the overall structure of the essay. The transitions between paragraphs are smooth, which aids in coherence.
supported main points
The main points are supported by relevant arguments and examples, making the discussion credible and thorough.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: