The best way to improve health is to do regular exercise. To what extent do you agree?

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The most fantastic way to
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
and
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
health
Use synonyms
is
considered to
Verb problem
through
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doing daily
Use synonyms
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
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.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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also
Linking Words
believe
diet
Use synonyms
is a good method to keep healthy. In my opinion, I agree with
this
Linking Words
topic because
active
Correct article usage
an active
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lifestyle and light food can help people
avoide
Correct your spelling
avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
diseases. In
generally
Change the word
general
show examples
, exercise can prevent sedentary habits because when we
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
20 minutes
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of workout
show examples
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
a day we can
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
the stress
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
mitigated. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
stimulated
Wrong verb form
stimulates
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
blood circulation and
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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body
became
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
active. For
exmaple
Correct your spelling
example
, many
expert
Change to a plural noun
experts
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said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
that doing exercise can boost
Correct article usage
the human's
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human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
brain
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
to energetically
brainstroming
Correct your spelling
brainstorming
.
Thus
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society brain workers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
prefer to do
properly
Change the word
proper
show examples
exercise to
promotion
Replace the word
promote
show examples
their brain and
health
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the benefit of
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
is not only
workout
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
diet
Use synonyms
because they are
relevented
Correct your spelling
relevant
.
Due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
need
Change preposition
for fresh
show examples
fresh
Change preposition
for fresh
show examples
food to be a foundation food
such
Linking Words
as protein for muscle fibre for burning fat.
For instance
Linking Words
, after the
workout
Use synonyms
muscles demand meat to repair it.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
a wises
show examples
wises
Fix the agreement mistake
wise
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
can lead
people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good mood and
eased
Change the verb form
ease
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressures. In conclusion, in my view
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
to
impoving
Correct your spelling
improve
health
Use synonyms
we can't only go with
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
have to
associated
Verb problem
go
show examples
with
Correct article usage
a healty
show examples
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
diet
Use synonyms
to achieve healthy goals.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

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Language Accuracy
There are a number of spelling and grammar issues throughout the essay that need attention. Consistency in verb tenses should also be reviewed to improve the quality of the written work.
Lexical Resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and less repetition of words to enhance linguistic richness.
Introduction Development
The introduction should clearly present the topic and your viewpoint. Aim for a more nuanced thesis statement rather than simply agreeing 'with this topic'.
Paragraphing & Main Idea Presentation
It's good to see both sides of the argument considered. However, the essay requires a clearer delineation of paragraphs and better topic sentences to introduce main ideas.
Supporting Examples
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay would benefit from better linking words and phrases to help the flow of ideas. Clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs are necessary for improved coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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