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Band 6.5

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans are facing in the 21st century and sea level is continuing to rise at alarming rates. What are the causes and some possible solutions to global warming?

#threats #humans #st #century #sea #level #rise #rates
Global warming is one of the critical issues that humankind is facing these days.
As a result
, sea level keeps increasing, and it leads to problems
such
 as flooding and the disappearance of coastal areas. There are two primary causes, and some solutions should be proposed to address
this
 pressing issue.
To begin
 with, there are several contributing causes to
this
 phenomenon. Perhaps the most crucial cause is
Correct article usage
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the
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greenhouse gas emissions.
In other words
, most industries worldwide and transportation use fossil fuels as their primary energy source, which leads to increased emissions. Another possible cause is deforestation.
This
 means that many forests have been cut down to plant crops or graze livestock and build more buildings
such
 as houses and public facilities. Unfortunately, efforts to reduce deforestation have been minimal. To address the problems, some measures should be taken.
Firstly
, governments should come forward to protect the environment from global warming.
For example
, the United Nations could establish an organization to ensure that every country has its pollution under control. It should be made mandatory for each country to join that organization and sanctions must be applied if they do not comply.
In addition
, private companies and individuals must play their part in reducing global warming. Companies can do so by eliminating fossil fuels,
while
 individuals should choose
environmentally-friendly
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environmentally friendly
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 public transport over their private vehicles.
To conclude
, global warming has been a serious problem today. The root of
this
 issue includes increased greenhouse gas emissions and deforestation.
This
 problem can be solved through the combined efforts of the government, companies, and individuals.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay's structure and flow, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Observed transitions are basic, and the use of more sophisticated connections could strengthen the coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are present and structured appropriately. However, the concluding paragraph can be more reflective of the overall discussion, reinforcing the arguments made throughout the essay with greater impact.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are duly supported, but you can further improve this by introducing a variety of supporting details such as statistics, studies, or reports, making the argument more persuasive and substantial.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task satisfactorily. However, the directives of the task require a more detailed exploration of the solutions. Expanding on potential solutions with specific examples and explaining their potential impact can further improve the response.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear ideas, but you can attain comprehensiveness by elaborating on each point with more depth and breadth. It might be beneficial to go into details about how greenhouse gas emissions could be curtailed and deforestation minimized in practical terms.
task achievement
You have provided examples relevant to your arguments, but adding specific, concrete examples to substantiate your claims would improve the essay. Citing case studies or real-world initiatives could very much enhance the response's relevance and strength.

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