Some people see sports only as a leisure activity, while others believe sports play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Provide a band 8 example

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Sports
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have long been a topic of debate, with some considering them merely a form of recreation,
while
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others argue that they serve a much greater purpose in society.
This
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essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own view that
sports
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hold significant social, economic, and health-related value beyond just entertainment. On the one hand, many people view
sports
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as nothing more than a leisure activity. They argue that engaging in
sports
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is primarily a way to relax, unwind, and enjoy free time.
For instance
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, casual participation in activities
such
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as football or tennis allows individuals to relieve stress and have fun without any serious commitment.
Furthermore
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, for spectators, watching professional sporting events provides entertainment, much like watching a movie or attending a concert. Since
sports
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, in
this
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sense, do not directly contribute to economic productivity or social development, some believe they should not be given undue importance.
On the other hand
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,
sports
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play a much more significant role in society.
Firstly
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, they promote physical and mental well-being by encouraging an active lifestyle and reducing the risk of illnesses
such
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as obesity and heart disease.
Secondly
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,
sports
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contribute to national and international economies, generating billions of dollars through events like the Olympics and the FIFA World Cup.
Moreover
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, they foster social cohesion by bringing communities together, instilling discipline, and teaching values
such
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as teamwork and perseverance.
For example
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, in many countries, youth
sports
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programs have been instrumental in keeping children engaged in positive activities and away from crime. In my opinion,
while
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sports
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undoubtedly serve as a recreational outlet, their impact extends far beyond leisure. They enhance public health, boost economies, and strengthen social bonds.
Therefore
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,
sports
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should be recognized for their broader significance and supported as an essential part of society.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to provide even clearer transitions between points, especially in the body paragraphs, to guide the reader through the arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Consider including a counterargument or acknowledging more nuance in the debate to strengthen your position and engage with opposing views more critically.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-structured argument with clear main points that are supported by relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
Strong concluding remarks that effectively summarize your view and the importance of sports beyond leisure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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