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Band 1

More students study abroad to learn new things today do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages？ is it positive or negative？agree or disagree to what extent do you agree or disagree？

#students #study #disadvantages？ #negative？agree #disagree？
In the contemporary
world
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world,
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 education has been opened widely numerous countries provide various privileges to attract students from around the world.
As a
result
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result,
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 a huge
amountb
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amount
 of pupils are interested and deciding to study overseas. As far as
i
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I
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 am concerned there will be a
rast
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range
 of benefits for them not only in their education but
also
 in their future opportunities.
To begin
with
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with,
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 nowadays many countries are promoting their universities in the United Kingdom
provide
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providing
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 a lot of scholarships and job opportunities for students who prefer to move to the United Kingdom.
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 the benefits of studying abroad are countries
for example
exporuse
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expose
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new cultures and perspectives enhances personal growth and global understanding and
develovps
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develops
develop
 important life skills.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction that presents the topic and the writer's stance on the issue. Make sure to begin with a concise introductory paragraph that outlines the topic and clearly states whether you believe the advantages or disadvantages are greater, along with your own position.
Task Achievement
The number of ideas and examples you have provided is limited. Consider extending the main body of the essay to include more developed ideas and relevant, specific examples. This will help make your argument more convincing and directly address the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay does not have a clear progression of ideas and lacks connective words and phrases, which makes it difficult to follow. Work on organizing your points in a logical order and use cohesive devices to create a better flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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