People are staying more and more at home, these days. What are the causes and effects.
Nowadays, plenty of people prefer to stay at the place of their residence.
This
uprising trend is especially popular in the big cities of the developed countries. The reasons and possible aftermaths of the current behaviour I want to discuss in this
essay.
Morden society allows individuals to prosper inside their own apartments without physical interaction with the outside world. Firstly
, range of the jobs that can be done online is tremendous and almost any person with any professional skills can find a decent workplace. The second important thing is that anything from groceries to a house can be bought if you have the Internet. Online shopping increased dramatically during the last
few years and COVID
pandemic was playing not the Correct article usage
the COVID
last
role in this
development. While
all the people were locked at home for months, companies had adopted and developed new technologies that allowed them to provide their goods and services to consumers. The most incredible, from my point of view, is a technology developed by Amazon, they are using drones for delivering parcels contactless.
On the other hand
, there is no doubt that these new circumstances are bringing new unfavourable outcomes. One point would be health problems caused by the lack of physical activity. The biggest concern is obesity and the diseases caused by it. Based on statistics around 60% of the population of Australia is overweight or obese and staying at home can push this
rate even further
. In addition
, increasing social distance is also
detrimental to human well-being and society at large. Deprivation from person-to-person interaction can be harmful to psychological health and can cause such
problems as anxiety and depression. Increasing statistics of psychiatrist appointments during the pandemic can illustrate how hard it can feel to be isolated.
In conclusion, the idea of staying at home is becoming more and more popular due to
the development of technical possibilities to work online. However
, profitable factors such
as convenience must be considered together with
possible harm to physical and mental health. Individuals should target a more balanced approach that allows them to get the best from these two worlds and approach a healthy and fulfilled life.Submitted by mnb54ya3flc on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, try to enhance the transitions between your ideas for improved fluidity. Embedding phrases to bridge paragraphs smoothly could aid in this.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion encapsulate the essay's argument effectively; your conclusion did well in summarizing, but the introduction could be more succinct and direct.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've supported your points satisfactorily; however, aiming for more precise supporting examples and less generalization would strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Your task completion is satisfactory, covering the essay topic adequately. Nevertheless, making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive by unpacking them further would enhance your essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your points. These examples should directly support your claims and be elaborated upon.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.